Friday, January 1, 2010
New Year, Same Single me... BLAH!
It's a new year and guess what! I'm still flippin single! (aarrrgghh) What in the world do I need to do? Like seriously!!
Here's what I have:
-30 years old
-own apt (soon to be house in a few more months)
-very giving and caring
-quite family oriented
And that's just a LITTLE bit of me... SOOO much more the more you are around me and get to know me.
In Nov 2009, I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend. He was a cool guy, I can't deny that, but so many things needed to be improved or changed. We had been together off and on for 5 years. I moved to New Orleans in July 09 for my residency program, where he is from. We spent a lot of time together. A month later, he quit his job. (Oh- yeah, so he's like 4 years younger than me, still in undergrad, was living wiht his parents until I moved here. He was never very good with money, but was always fun as hell and very attentive and 'loving'.) Anyway. He moved in with me after aobut 3 weeks. I was excited- it was the first time we had lived in the same city since we met. After about 4 weeks after moving there, he decided to quit his job- WITHOUT HAVING ANOTHER ONE LINED UP...AND AGAINST MY SUGGESTION OF WAITING UNTIL HE HAD ANOTHER JOB! Okay, so I was trying to be the 'supportive girlfriend' and take care of the bills. Take care of everything x 2. Mind you, I'm a resident- SOOO not making a WHOLE LOT of money, but I tried. I encouraged him weekly to look for a job. He'd ask me DAILY to 'borrow' money. I'd foolishly give it to him. He got on a kick where he was 'going to job fairs', so I got him some slacks, a nice shirt, a nice tie, adn some shoes for his job fairs and interview. Even helped him get is resume together... (Again, me doing what I THOUGHT was 'supportive girlfriend stuff'). 3 months later, I'm STILL handing him 'loans'. I'm still paying for ALLLL the food he gobbles up (he had a stupid habit of "smoking" and getting VERY VERY hungry afterwards -wink-, so he ate everything in sight... and NEVER replaced anything). SO I'd get home from work hoping to have a snack- and it's GONE! (SIGH). Eventually he and I had huge fight about my 'relationship status' on FB (yes LOL on FB people). It was 'single' Why? I don't know- I just never changed it and everybody on there that I talk to, knew about him, so I never thought much of it. When he told me it pissed him off, I told him I'd change it. THAT WASN'T ENOUGH for him..he yelled and bitched for an hour more... (sigh). I change it..and a few months later he wants to yell about how WE sit on the sofa and WE play on my FB account. He claims I 'never give him attention'. WHAT?!?! All we do is goof off and what not. He wants to complain that I go to bed too early and that I always left him on the sofa. WEEELLL HELLO STUPID- I work everyday- you don't You don't have to sleep at night! ANDDD YOU opt to go out and smoke then come home and pass out on the sofa...NOPE- not gonna wake u up like a 5 year old every night. ANYWAY...
We end up parting ways because of his refusal to grow up and accept responsibility as a man..and as the man he COULD BE, the one I NEEDED him to be, for me and for us. I haven't felt particularly sad about it though, because I think it was something that needed to be done...
On the flip side...there's a guy (my crush I've written about before) I've know just as long as I've known the ex. Me and this guy have been involved over time too (about 5 years...mainly during the extended months/year or what ever the ex and I weren't together). I know this guy has more of the attributes I desire in a man (i.e. tall, dark, handsome, killer smile, very driven, PhD candidate May 2010, funny, athletic, sweet, family oriented...). I know he likes me, we've spoken about it. We chit chat from time to time and everything... but WHAT THE HELL DOES HE WANT FROM ME? LOL He knows how I feel about him, yet he doesn't really act on it.
My question is: do you not act because you are just that shy? Do you not act because you really aren't that into me, but you act like it? DO you not act on it because you do like me, might want to give it a try, but we live far apart? Do you not act because you do like me, very intereted in giving it a try, just not READY for the whole 'one woman' thing right now? I don't know!
I guess I won't know for a while either huh? so until then, I'll be pretty much like the cartoon at the top...LOL single and waiting to catch the perfect man!