Thursday, December 24, 2009

Happy Holidays (which ever you choose to celebrate..or not!)

In the Photo: My Own Personal Goof Troop --> Kayleigh-Ann (3), beside her Trelin (4) and on the opposite side of the table is Lindberg (the big brother, age 5).

Happy Holidays people! (I won't say only 'Merry Christmas', I'm sure not everybody following me doesn't celebrate Christmas, so Happy Holidays to you- and Merry Christmas to the ones of us who do celebrate it)

Now that that's out the way. I just want to say "Thank God I'm blessed!" (Oh yeah, if you are a non-believer in God and feel offended by me mentioning my God and my blessings, you'd probably want to exit now. If you are a non-believer and can still respect my belief, then by all means- do read on... )

I say this because #1- I'm alive and well! #2- I'm broke as a joke, but I haven't missed a meal, have a very nice roof over my head, and have never gone naked... (well, if you count that one time... OHHHH Pish posh- just kidding people).

I think I mentioned before that I'm on call right now (Dec 23-26th 7am). Well my family decided that since I couldn't come to them for Christmas, they'd bring Christmas (dinner at least) to me. I'm so blessed to have such a fun and supportive family! Everybody came (well JUST ABOUT everybody). Wanna know who? Okay, I'll tell ya. My mom and dad, my sister (from Arkansas), my Granny (the best-est cook in the world!), my 3 aunts (Merle, Mary Jean, and Faye), My only maternal Uncle (BoBo- hey... we're from the country so lay off the names aight! LOL). My cousins Savannah and Denzel (Aunt Merle's two), Marcus (Aunt Faye's son...Uncle David stayed home...), PJ (Uncle Bo's son, Trilana, the sister and Martha Ann the wife were no where to be found... kinda typical though..), Shericka (Aunt Mary Jean's daughter), and the best of all Linberg, Trelin, and Kayleigh-Ann (Uncle Bo's grand kids/Trilana's kids...ages 5,4 and 3 respectively). Good times folks and good food! YUUUMMM!

I gave the kids their 'early Christmas gifts'. Told them I had spoken to Santa when he stopped by here to take a break. He knew they would be here and left a package for them if they were good. I... I mean SANTA got the boys a BUMBLEBEE Transformer action figure, and the fashionista, 3 y/o Kayleigh-Ann got the newest in Kiddy fashion- Princess Tiana suit (with a hood...she's obsessed with hooded wear now). They loved it! I gave the girls (my sister, Shericka, and Savannah) Faith rings. Gave the aunts 'best aunt necklaces'. The other gifts will be given when I get home on the 26th.

My most favorite part of the whole day was when the food was ready. My mom fixed the kid's plates and put them at the counter. Before meals big family meals, the family elder blesses the food. It's my Granny now. When she started, Trelin said, "WAIT, GANNY (because he can't quite get that 'R' in GRANNY)..wait, I wanna do it today okay... Imma do it good too.' Granny told him, 'yes you may say grace Tre.' Tre says to all of us, 'you have to put your hands like this (he puts his hands together in the 'prayer position'), and you gotta put your head down like this(bows his head). Then he began to recite the Lord's Prayer. When he finished, he said 'see Ganny, I did it, and I did it all by myself, just like Paw Paw did'. It was cute that he volunteered to do it, and even cuter that he said 'I did it like Paw Paw did'. Paw Paw is my grandfather, his great grand father who died about 2 or 3 years ago, when Tre was about 1 or 2 years old. I don't know how Tre remembers Paw Paw praying before meals, I don't even care how he knows, I just feel like THAT was a sure sign that my Paw Paw was among us today!

My heart is filled and I'm so excited that I'm from the blood line of such a wonderful family!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Men- Make up your minds DAMN IT!

A few weeks ago, I read a blog by a friend. It was mainly about being confident in who you are and your body type. The 'theme' was based around a word used to describe certain body types; that word being the word 'THICK'. (You can check it out here ) I'm not sure if this is a word that's universially used or if it's just used in the 'urban' culture (shrugs shoulders). I'm sure we all know what is meant by 'thick', but if not, allow me to offer MY suggestion of the word. I'll also offer my opinion of where the description has gone wrong.
Thick: a woman with curves. A HEALTHY woman with curves. An inshape woman with curves. A woman who is naturally (by genetics) 'bigger' but fit and well put together. More times than a few, 'thick' referrs to women who are sizes bigger than an 8-10.
Now, mind you, that's MY opinion. Now where the word goes wrong is when it's used to ENTERTAIN the idea that 'FAT' and 'OBESE' people are 'thick'. It's a 'bandaid' word to not say the dreaded 'f' word... LOL NOT GONNA PASS! The description was started, in my opinion, to boost the morale of bigger women- not OBESE, UNHEALTHY women. At one point, the word 'skinny' meant 'beautiful', and it left many women such as myself on the outside. I'm a bigger woman... a PROUD size 14. A HEALTHY size 14. I will NEVER naturally be a size 2 or 4. I don't think even at a size 10 I'd be happy because I think I'd look like a glorified crack head- NOT a good look! ANYWAY- I digress...

So, Men what is is that you want? Make up your minds, DAMN IT.
I ask this because I often hear men say things like:
I don't want a fake woman (implants, fake colored contacts, injections and the works). I don't want a skinny woman. I want a woman with real hair (no weave). I want a confident woman. I want a natural woman. I don't want a woman who tries to be like the women on TV. blah blah blah!

Cool beans- right? Well I ask again, what do you want? I hear these 'complaints' all the time, but at any given time you (men) drool over those SAME women on TV! I know it's probably crazy, but what are we to do? 9 times out of 10, we (women) tend to copy what YOU drool over... because that's what you like. You claim you want a natural woman, (i.e. no weave, no fake nails, no overly done make up, no colored contacts), but here I am- none of that, but you fight to see Beyonce, Nicki Manaj, and all the other 'hot ladies' on TV. You claim you like 'natural women', but I never see that same excitement when India Aire, or Jill Scott do a show. Hmmm- so what is it that you really want- Make up your damn mind!

You want a confident woman right? Well when I'm confident in my size 14, you turn your head because I'm not a size 4. You want a confident woman who is fine in the skin she's in, but I have no make up on and look fine, but you run to blow up the ego of the make up whore next door. WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?! STOP CONFUSING US...ME! MAKE UP YOUR MIND. Either you want the regular, natural, round the way girl or you don't. Don't say one thing, allow us to immulate that, then not accept us. WHAT THE HELL?!?!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

OMG Quit your crying... it's not my fault!

I've been hearing this for quite some time now, 'Dang, why can't you do this work for free/cheaper? It's too expensive for dental work'.

Well, to that I say, 'get over it!' I only say that because I think that like ANYTHING ELSE we want, we'll pay for it.

People take dental health for granted. They think 'they're just teeth... I brush, so I'm good'. Well the truth behind that is it's not 'just teeth'. And just brushing alone won't ensure good dental health. Those teeth have blood supply and nerve supply and if attacked, can and will cause pain and/or infection. Brushing can do a lot to keep worse situations at bay, but brushing alone will NOT keep a healthy mouth. That's why it's encouraged to brush, floss and use mouthwash AAANNDD visit a health care provider at least 2 times a year for check ups.

One part I don't get is this: (prepare for scenario)
Patient enters, let's say my office. He has 'okay' teeth. A few areas that will need fillings. Let's say I do his x-rays, and exam and charge him ummm $200.00 (we'll stick with nice round figures). His treatment plan (procedures that need to be done) equals up to about $1,000. This plan is NOT to be paid at's a pay by procedure deal. (Example 10 services at 100 each- to be done at separate visits). Well, I tell patient: 'Sir/Ma'am, you need this, this, this and this done. I'd like to do blah blah right away, to decrease likelihood of more damage of the tooth, and it will cost blah dollars.' Patient USUALLY says, 'ummm naw, just pull it'. WHHYYYY pull a tooth for $75 dollars when it can be saved for $25.00 more? That baffles me! OR the patient response is, 'well doc, how long can I hold off?' )Depending on the situation, I can usually give a round-a-bout time frame.) So I say, 'Sir/Ma'am, I'd say if you keep the area clean, you can wait for PROBABLY ABOUT 2 months, give or take a week'. Patient says, 'okay, well I'm going to wait, because it's not hurting'. EXACTLY CRAZY- that's why you get it fixed NOW so that it doesn't HURT.
Patient back in the office: 'Doc, aww man, my tooth is KILLING me, can I have that fiiling now.' I do the exam and what WAS a tooth that needed a filling back then, is not a tooth that needs a root canal. Now that $100.00 filling that could have been done a month ago is NOW a $500.00+ procedure. I tell the patient, 'well sir/ma'am, the decay is too far gone, can't be saved with a fillin now. It will require a RCT and a crown now.' Patient, 'but doc, you said 100.00, now it's 500.00!!' Me, 'well that was then, conditions have changed, that is why I encouraged you to get it done then to avoid this. THe other option is still to extract the tooth ($75.00)." Patient, 'well just pull it, I'll get a denture'. Me, 'denture is going to be about 2,000.' Patient, 'damn, why is this shit so expensive, you claim you trynna help me out, but you robbing me'. Me- to myself, 'IF YOU ONLY KNEW HOW MUCH I HAD TO PAY FOR THE MATERIALS TO PUT IN YOUR MOUTH, THEN YOU'D NOT COMPLAIN SO MUCH! I DO WANT TO HELP, BUT I HAVE TO EAT TOO, I HAVE BILLS TO PAY TOO SO I HAVE TO CHARGE YOU, SO I CAN PAY PEOPLE AND SO I CAN GET A MEAL AND HAVE A ROOF OVER MY HEAD ALSO'. Now this patient's treatment plan went from a TOTAL $1000.00 to 1500.00 in a matter of 2.5 months! And that's not including what may be going on with the other ignored teeth! AND the patient is mad at ME because he/she opted out of the initial treatments!

Okay, so, let's say I pull this tooth, and a month later another ignored tooth swells his face up and he comes in again. NOW I gotta charge him for an emergency visit, PLUS write for antibiotics, PLUS pain meds, PLUS the extraction fee. AND he's angry again! WHYYYY?!?! NOWWW let's compound the problem by the fact that anesthesia doesn't like to work in infected areas! So, the desired effect is a level 10, in infection, we're good to get about a 5. Sorry, nothing I can do about that! So, now you're infected with a tooth that would have cost $100.00 to fix 3 months ago, that wasn't hurting, but decayed, that COULD HAVE prevented all this suffering you're having to go through now. NOW instead of a little $100.00, some anesthesia, a lil drill SOUND and a filling and a happy mouth- you got this! A swollen face full of infection, injection that won't work well, 2 prescriptions probably stitches, and a painful procedure... ALLL for $75, PLUS the $100.00 emergency visit, PLUS pain meds... (let's say total $250.00). Now you're missing 2 teeth, out of over 400.00 bucks- all because you wanted to wait...

AND you wanna blame me?!?!
Dear Patient:
Do NOT come in the dental office angry at the dentist because YOU have opted to NOT care for your teeth. It is not my fault, as a dentist, that you decided to buy new jordans each month instead of put aside a few dollars to save for the dental exam. I'm sorry that blowing money on weed and booze took away from your dental fillings stash so now you gotta do what ever to try to get money for a RCT and you mad at me?


Sunday, December 20, 2009

My Crush and 3 questions you all need to answer for me!

Having a crush on someone is like putting your heart in a Ziploc bag and checking it at the airport luggage counter. There is a chance it will make the trip and come out unscathed, but there is a much greater chance that it will be bruised in some way.

So people... I have this crush. YES- Im' 30 damn years old with a crush. LOL Well, I'm not sure if it's considered a crush, because he knows, we know, we've been 'involved' to an extent, but nothing has majorly developed. (sigh) I'm not sure why really. At times during this 5 year 'crush' period, there have been periods when he's been involved with another woman/women and me with another man/men. During those times, my crush and I didn't interact a whole lot. He's my friend, so we would speak and what not, but none of the super heavy flirting we tend to do when we're single.

Recently, I became newly single again, and of course the 'crush' was instantly at the front of my mind. He never left my mind really, but I packed him a lil further back to focus on the on-again off-again relationship I was in. (A relationship that was on/off for 5 years). Crazy that I met the ex and the crush around the same time. I found out that the crush had a 'special someone' at the time, so I didn't trip... I just 'lived' and that living linked me to the recent ex. Anyway- So recently I broke up with the bf. The crush and I started our 'goofing off' again (via text and twitter mostly). He ended up in my city, and I saw him. More of the flirting and what not- as usual.

One weekend, my friends and I went to Atl for the Saints Falcons game. So did the crush and his friends. The plan was for me and the crush to hook up and hang out a minute. (We did live in the same city, I graduated, and moved away. He's in the city still and will move when he graduates in May- just not sure where he's going though). Anyway, one night of the weekend, my girls and I went out. We contacted the crush and his friends and pretty much went to where they were. I get there and the crush wasn't there. Me, being the 'cool chick' that I am ;-) didn't ask about him. I just tried to have a lil fun. (I was, however, quite disappointed because I wanted to see him ya know). I didn't ask because of the people in town with the ex, only 2 of the people knew of our 'flings'. The others didn't know (or at least I don't think they know). My friend and I were standing and just looking. One of the Crush's friends came by us and my girl asks, 'so where is *crush*?'. The friend, in a drunken slur says, 'Oh, mannn *crush* is all boo'd up, he's got a little friend here in ATL'. ME- (shocked face and disappointed face and angry face and jealous face)! Well, I TRIED my damnedest to keep it together, I think I did alright. When I over heard it, I sent crush a message asking, 'hmm, where are you? the gang's all here but you. You too drunk or too good to hang out tonight'? NO RESPONSE! I continued to chill and such. We finally leave for home. The next morning, I see on twitter a message from crush, 'got some good sleep, ready for the game now'. Then moments later I get a text response, 'yep- I was too drunk and too good LOL :-), are you going to the game?'. I respond, 'umm hmm, you were probably laid up with some jezzybell. yeah we're going to the game'. His response, 'yeah I prob was'. Me- WTF!?!?! Anyway, I don't THINK I reacted much, I tried to surpress my issues with this weekend! I go to the game, enoy it as usual. After the game we head home- Me to NOLA, my friends to Shreveport. I drove the WHOLE 8.5 hours with my mind racing about the happenings.

OMG- what to do what to do?!?!
#1- can I rightfully tell the crush I KNOW he was not telling the truth about 'sleeping all night'? That I KNOW he was out with some girl? I mean he is NOT my 'man'...

#2- My feelings were hurt by that. The crush IS my 'friend', can I say somethign about my feelings being hurt? I mean he IS my friend, my crush, and he is VERY aware of how I feel about him.

#3- How in the world am I supposed to go about getting this thing solidified between us or letting it completely go? I don't get it! I like hanging out with him when we are together... I miss him terribly since we've been apart. I wanna tell him all of this stuff, but he's so friggin quiet until I'm not sure if the quiet means 'so what' or if the quiet means, 'hmmm I feel the same'. WHAT TO DO WHAT TO DO?!?! sheesh!

From here on out...the rest is just a piece I found about 'crushes'. If you care to read on, have at it..if not..offer your advice/answers to the 3 questions please..
That will be all...

What is a crush
A crush involves admiring someone from a safe distance. You feel a hugely powerful emotion, stronger than anything you've felt before. You obsess over this person. You would die for them. You think about them constantly. You are thrilled when you are near them and miserable when you are away from them. You desperately want to tell the person how you feel - but are frightened of it at the same time.

If you're involved in a crush - enjoy it! We have ALL had crushes over the years and they're something you look back on with great fondness. Look at what makes your crush special. Those qualities that you admire in your crush are qualities that are very special to you, and it's very important to learn what those are. It helps you when you look for a real boyfriend or girlfriend to date, to know what you are drawn to.

Also, learn how to handle your feelings. Most of what a crush is about is learning that you get POWERFUL emotions in relationships - and that you need to deal with them. Just like you learned in earlier years how to deal with strong anger and strong sadness, you're now learning how to deal with strong feelings of attraction. You're learning that it's a nice feeling - but that it's a painful feeling if you let it take over your life. You need to be able to balance those feelings with the rest of what is going on in your world.

As hard as it might seem right now, your feelings for your crush will even out over time. It usually takes a few weeks to a few months, but you will learn to bring them under control. And as you learn more about life, you will find someone that is your own age, and actually someone you can *date* to start to become interested in. When that's the case, you can work to be their friend, and then their best friend. And it's at that point that your interests change from a crush to a real, meaningful relationship.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Tis the Season Right? Making my list

Today is December 18, 2009. Christmas is 7 days away. I don't get to go home for Christmas because I'm on call! YYIIPPEEE **insert sarcasm here please**. I have not purchased ONE gift! Lucky for me, I'm not married, I'm single, my sister is grown, no kids, and younger cousins are all old enough to know the real meaning of Christmas.

I'm not going to kid myself though. Although we were raised with the whole Santa thing, we were also taught the real reason for the season. I can't lie- it ROCKS to get cool stuff for Christmas. This year, I've dropped the ball! I have not gone shopping yet! I'm making my list tonight, spending all day tomorrow shopping. I have a general idea for my dad, mom, and sister. In my family, we pull names as secret Santas (my mom and her siblings pull, then my sister and I pull names with our 8 cousins). I'm the oldest, and I think everybody still expects a little some thing from me even though I didn't get their name! It's okay though, they're all my 'babies' and I don't care if the youngest is no 16! (Sniffle sniffle- they grow up so friggin fast don't they?!!?) One of my cousins has 3 little ones- who I will try not to spoil, but the 5 and 4 year old little boys will most def get a noisy boy toy and the little 3 year old girl will get a doll that's tough enough for her! The older cousins (at least the 4 I get a little for) will get a little cash. The 17 and 16 year old boys will get a $10.00 each. I know- not much, but HEY- I'm just the cousin, and it will get a snack after school or something. The 16 year old girl..well she's my special one. Her moma (my aunt) has been sick for a while and hasn't been able to work. Her dad isn't REALLY in the picture, so my sister and I try to make sure she doesn't 'need' anything. So- I'll probably give her a little cash and make sure she has a new pair of shoes for school and probably a little 'extra' something. (What teen doesn't appreciate a 'fun' gift to go along with the needed things ya know). My 21 year old cousin is also my special one too. He dad died when she was 12. Her mom/aunt had done an amazing job with her and her 16 year old brother (mentioned earlier). She is a jr in college, on the dean's list for all 3 years! (Yeeahhh go smart family!) Her mom is a kindergarten teacher, so she doesn't make a whole lot... so again, my sister and I try to make sure she doesn't need anything. I don't know what she really needs, so I think I'll give her $25.00 for what ever and then I will take her shopping after the holidays (better sales, and she is a bargin shopper).

My sister- hmm let's see... that girl needs NOTHING! LOL She's HINTED at a Wii, so who knows, I might get that for her and tell my parents to get her that yoga game that she 'HINTS' at!

My dad- I think I'll get him some fancy liquor for his 'man dome'! (He build a HUGE mini-house behind our house with his TV, flat screen, pool table, dart board, card table, and mini bar).

My mom- currently losing a TON of weight... I'll prob get her a UP TO DATE outfit... my poor mom dresses like an old woman! LOL she's only 51!

As for me- all I really want is for everybody to be happy and have fun. My fam has decided they are coming to New Orleans for Christmas because I can't go home until Dec 26th (when I am off call at 7am). I just don't know if that's a good idea because I only have a 2 br apt, while spacious, it's not big enough for the 10 people who will probably come!

I have to say, I haven't been in a huge 'CHRISTMAS-Y' spirit this year. I think it's because this year I've been awakened to so much. Often times we wait until 'holidays' to count our blessings, but this year- I've been reminded of my abundant blessings daily. At work I'm a dental resident at University Hospital, where we see many free care patients, and very sick patients. I see so many conditions and so many situations that make me feel 'CHRISTMAS-Y' daily. I think that's my gift...and it started back in July when I started working there. That's not to say I've never felt greatful for my blessings, it's just when you're around less fortunate people, it reminds you that what ever you have, could be gone at any moment. It reminds you to give thanks for the accomplishments you've acquired. It allows you to use your God given gifts to possibly uplift the spirits of others and offer kinds words and offer a smile to some people who haven't seen and/or heard things like that in years.

I will say- I've left work several times quite flustered and completely worn out. Despite that, I can always think back to the cancer patient I was able to extract his/her teeth in one appointment, so that he/she could start radiation therapy 2 days earlier than expected. I think about the denture patient who tried to committ suicide by shooting himself in the face. His story chills me to the bone, and I relish in the fact that he's much more appreciative of his life and I was able to give him the smile he's longed for. Every time I can see a patient smile after I remove a painful tooth, or fill a painful tooth, or deliver teeth (dentures), it's like a big ole fat present- daily! LOL

How can I be so lucky! I've worked for 10 years to get here...HHHAARRDD work I tell ya. And I can truly say I'm blessed enough to know that the results are very rewarding and I actually LOVE what I do!

Happy Holidays everybody...
and don't forget- it's good to give gifts and all, but there is a much bigger picture. And I encourage everybody to find that Christmas spirit daily though.. I know I have and I never want to let the feeling go!

Merry Christmas (or Happy what ever you celebrate!)

Oh Me Oh My!!!

I haven't done a 'clinic' blog in a while. I haven't had a whole lot to blog about because I've been back in my general dentistry zone- so 90% of the patients I'm seeing now are patient's who are assigned to me and I'm their primary dental care provider, they craziness is pretty much gone. HOWEVER- today and yesterday I had a bit of an 'adventure'!
Yesterday: I decided to help out my co-resident by taking her call shift until she got her car fixed. I was the only dentist in the clinic PLUS if any call came in, I was responsible for handeling that too. Everything was find until about 10am. I get a call from the ER. The ER doc says: 'hi Dr. I have a 26 year old here with significant swelling to her lower right cheek. Her teeth don't seem to look too bad though'. I say, 'okay, well send her on up, I'll get an x-ray and check it out'. About 20 minutes later the patient comes up with her sister, brother, and the brother's girlfriend. The radiograph was taken, visible infection present (which caused the swelling of course, and probably primary contributor to the pain.) I walk into the treatment room and INSTANTLY the sister tells the patient, 'uh ohh, here comes the pain'. (LOL) Now, typically this would be just laughed off, and the exam began, but this lady wasn't having it... SHE WAS ALEADY SCREAMING AND CRYING! I asked her to let me take a look, she did- reluctantly. THe tooth in question was on the LEFT side and NOT the right side as reported by the ER (LESSON: always do your own exam..never take anybody's word only!) . I explained everything to the patient- how with infection, the lidocaine won't work as well, but the goal was to get her out of pain and to take the tooth out with as little pain as possible. I give the first injection and she slides almost completely out the chair. I got her numb (her tissues were blanched, and she said her lip felt fat). I begin to extract the tooth... I put the forceps on and she grabs my hand (Lesson: a NO NO- never grab the dentist's hand during a procedure..can cause more problems than not, just RAISE a hand and typically the dentist will recogonize it as a sign of distress) I stopped, asked what was wrong. SHe said 'I don't want to do this no more, I'm leaving'. I explain it would be benificial to get the tooth out ESPECIALLY because it was now loose, and because this was her 2nd time in the ER for the same tooth in 2 months. She refuesd about 10 times, so I let her go. (Lesson: stop being a baby!)

Today: Interesting case. 26 y/o male needs 6 extractions. Problem- severe hemophelia A. Which means he had to be admitted last night for fibrin therapy then to us today for teh extractions. I hadn't seen the patient before today. I HEARD a patient asking the nurses 'man, is this gonna hurt, I can't take much pain, awww man, this finna be baddd'. The voice happened to be my patient. I get him in the treatment room, go over paper work, and explain the injections and what not. I give him 4 injections on the right and 3 on the left. After the first injection, you're numb enough to not feel the others... I start trying to move the tooth, adn he starts to tear up! I ask if he was okay- his answer 'yeah, go head'. I try to elevate the tooth, he jumps, moans, and wiggles. I stop adn ask 'are you okay sir'. His answer 'yes'. After doing this for 30 minutes I said, 'Sir, let me ask you this... why are you wiggling all around becasue of an extraction and you got allll these tattoos on you'? He said 'beacuse I be drunk when I get these'. (LOL) I was able to get out 1/2 of the last tooth on the lower right. I had to readmit him to the hospital until tomorrow. We will CERTAINLY sedate him tomorrow morning- if not, we'll NEVER get those root tips out.

WHEW- long day!

Thursday, December 17, 2009 many of us have them?!?!

Hiya all! Miss me? Well, I've been gone a minute, no particular reason- but I'm back now. Nothing major to blog about, so Imma talk about my trip to ATL real quick. Since I graduated from Meharry and moved to New Orleans, I've been a little outside of my element. I love the city, but haven't had anyone to really get out and enjoy things with. My best friend graduated from Meharry in 2008 and moved to Shereveport, a few hours away from here. We haven't gotten to hang out very much. In July for Essence and recently when we decided to go to ATL for the Falcons/Saints game. BOY! what a drive!!! Anyway, it was good to hang out again.

I was thinking recently about how we have friends/associates in and out of our lives for specific reasons. I have friends who I've known for 30 years. We're still very much so friends, but we don't talk very much, but I know they'll be there for me if I ever needed them and vice versa. They are my Original BFFs. I have several friends I met in college, one in particular who quickly became my college BFF. I'm the 'tee-tee V' to her 3 year old Chole and 10 month old Parker (they're so cute...LOL). When I went to Meharry, I met a few folks and was cool with a lot of them... but my friend India eventually became my Meharry BFF. Sure, I had other friends, but India was always more relatable. We were so similar, but where we differed, we respected each other's differences. So this blog is just a shout out to my BFF India...and a tribute to 'good friends' all over the world! It's great to have good friends huh?

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Just thinking...What's in a name?

I was on the way to work this morning. I was listening to the Steve Harvey Morning show as usual. On Wednesday's they have the Essence Hot Topic. Today the issue was 'are minorities getting overlooked because of names'. (They also touched on a little affirmative action and brought up an issue of: 'since President Obama has been elected, is affirmative action still needed?- To be blogged about later). So- One example of a 'name that is often overlooked' was 'Jamal'. They had several more, but for some reason Jamal stood out to me, I guess because I had a childhood friend with that name, who was extremely intelligent. (Who knows where he is now and what he's doing... but oh well..) Anyway. I was thinking today... what really IS in a name?

They talked about how 'black sounding names' on applications and resumes were trashed before lookin at any qualifications. The 'white sounding names' that appeared on applications peaked interests more and applications were reviewed and interviews granted. (This isn't to say that these people were hired, BUT were a heck of a lot closer than the ones who's apps got tossed).

If there is an applicant with a white name- for blog's sake- let's say Bethany applied for a job as a teacher's assistant. Let's say- again for blog's sake- that the requirements are: high school diploma and 4 years experience in child care. Bethany dropped out of high school in 11th grade, and had 2 children of her own who are wards of the state because she was negligent. Let's also say an applicant with a black name- for blog's sake- let's say Shaquintilla applied for that same job. According to the radio discussion, Shericka's application would most likely be tossed even though she graduated top of her high school class, graduated in the top 10% of a community college, worked for the last 7 years in a daycare (from general employee to daycare director). Kinda sucks huh? And is very wrong. In this situation, Bethany was pretty much a waste of an interview, but based on 'name alone' she was considered. And based on 'name alone', Shericka was snubbed of an opportunity.

They also went on to talk about how some 'black sounding named' individuals (example-made up name): Quashon Christopher Davis has been encouraged to fill out applications using partial names, such as Q. Christopher Davis or just Christopher Davis... because 'Christopher' is neither 'black' or 'white'. Go figure! When in the world will people be judged on content of character and not on petty things such as a name.

As a black woman, growing up in a black community, we have- for some reason, made a sport of 'making up names' or trying to find names that are unique. Ehhh... I can't lie, some of the names are VERY interesting... LOL and some quite stupid! I agree, that some names may make you question the 'character', but it wasn't like little Shithead (pronouced Sha-theed) could come out the womb and say, 'Moma, don't make up a name for me please. Please name me Michael or Cory or Brandon or something 'job worthy'. Baby Aquanesha couldn't crawl up to her mom and say, 'mother dear, this name is going to hinder me from future jobs... '. A mother should know better you say? Well... how could she when her name is 'La'Trendalyn' (LOL) And her mother should have known better you think, right? Well... could she when her name is 'Curdy Mae'. (the names previously mentioned in THIS paragraph are names of people I have actually met!!! sad...but true! LOL).

It's funny how my sister (Natalie) and I were often the butt of many jokes because we had 'white names'. I'd say my family has relatively 'equi-race' (yes, I made that up, but I know you get the meaning) names: Veronica, Trilana (a stretch), Cory, Natalie, Percy Jr, Prentiss III, Savannah, Marcus, Denzel (maybe not so 'white', but not a bad name), and Shericka (yeah- probably the most 'black' name of all of us). Now, the paternal side MIGHT be a lil different (LOL) Still I'd say FOR THE MOST PART, according to the radio show, most of my maternal cousins wouldn't be tossed as applicants.

What ever happened to 'regular' names with 'meaning'? Why have we, as a black community, decided to get SOOO creative with the name and neglect the more important issues sometimes. Some times we, forget to be creative with how to teach and train our children. NO- not a mother yet, BUT, I've had my share of the baby sitting and assisted in rasing a few little ones...
(Sigh) well..I guess that's all of my venting/typing release for now...

Later folks!