Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Men- Make up your minds DAMN IT!

A few weeks ago, I read a blog by a friend. It was mainly about being confident in who you are and your body type. The 'theme' was based around a word used to describe certain body types; that word being the word 'THICK'. (You can check it out here ) I'm not sure if this is a word that's universially used or if it's just used in the 'urban' culture (shrugs shoulders). I'm sure we all know what is meant by 'thick', but if not, allow me to offer MY suggestion of the word. I'll also offer my opinion of where the description has gone wrong.
Thick: a woman with curves. A HEALTHY woman with curves. An inshape woman with curves. A woman who is naturally (by genetics) 'bigger' but fit and well put together. More times than a few, 'thick' referrs to women who are sizes bigger than an 8-10.
Now, mind you, that's MY opinion. Now where the word goes wrong is when it's used to ENTERTAIN the idea that 'FAT' and 'OBESE' people are 'thick'. It's a 'bandaid' word to not say the dreaded 'f' word... LOL NOT GONNA PASS! The description was started, in my opinion, to boost the morale of bigger women- not OBESE, UNHEALTHY women. At one point, the word 'skinny' meant 'beautiful', and it left many women such as myself on the outside. I'm a bigger woman... a PROUD size 14. A HEALTHY size 14. I will NEVER naturally be a size 2 or 4. I don't think even at a size 10 I'd be happy because I think I'd look like a glorified crack head- NOT a good look! ANYWAY- I digress...

So, Men what is is that you want? Make up your minds, DAMN IT.
I ask this because I often hear men say things like:
I don't want a fake woman (implants, fake colored contacts, injections and the works). I don't want a skinny woman. I want a woman with real hair (no weave). I want a confident woman. I want a natural woman. I don't want a woman who tries to be like the women on TV. blah blah blah!

Cool beans- right? Well I ask again, what do you want? I hear these 'complaints' all the time, but at any given time you (men) drool over those SAME women on TV! I know it's probably crazy, but what are we to do? 9 times out of 10, we (women) tend to copy what YOU drool over... because that's what you like. You claim you want a natural woman, (i.e. no weave, no fake nails, no overly done make up, no colored contacts), but here I am- none of that, but you fight to see Beyonce, Nicki Manaj, and all the other 'hot ladies' on TV. You claim you like 'natural women', but I never see that same excitement when India Aire, or Jill Scott do a show. Hmmm- so what is it that you really want- Make up your damn mind!

You want a confident woman right? Well when I'm confident in my size 14, you turn your head because I'm not a size 4. You want a confident woman who is fine in the skin she's in, but I have no make up on and look fine, but you run to blow up the ego of the make up whore next door. WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?! STOP CONFUSING US...ME! MAKE UP YOUR MIND. Either you want the regular, natural, round the way girl or you don't. Don't say one thing, allow us to immulate that, then not accept us. WHAT THE HELL?!?!


  1. Who would know what men really want???

  2. Just reading your blog for the first's good. I think most of us women are confused about why guys always seem to be so sure, but yet so confused. I wrote something similar to this before and you make me want to dig it up. Mine was called "Never Satisified".

  3. Ca88andra, I'm beginning to believe I'll NEVER figure it out!

    Msthinkalot (I like your name)... yeah, I just throw up my hands now more so than not...LOL Not 'giving up', on em, just reducing my 1/2 assed tries to about 12.5% trying..LOL I'm decreasing more and more over time. When/if you do a repost, let me know... I'd love to check it out!