Happy Holidays (which ever you choose to celebrate..or not!)

In the Photo: My Own Personal Goof Troop --> Kayleigh-Ann (3), beside her Trelin (4) and on the opposite side of the table is Lindberg (the big brother, age 5).

Happy Holidays people! (I won't say only 'Merry Christmas', I'm sure not everybody following me doesn't celebrate Christmas, so Happy Holidays to you- and Merry Christmas to the ones of us who do celebrate it)

Now that that's out the way. I just want to say "Thank God I'm blessed!" (Oh yeah, if you are a non-believer in God and feel offended by me mentioning my God and my blessings, you'd probably want to exit now. If you are a non-believer and can still respect my belief, then by all means- do read on... )

I say this because #1- I'm alive and well! #2- I'm broke as a joke, but I haven't missed a meal, have a very nice roof over my head, and have never gone naked... (well, if you count that one time... OHHHH Pish posh- just kidding people).

I think I mentioned before that I'm on call right now (Dec 23-26th 7am). Well my family decided that since I couldn't come to them for Christmas, they'd bring Christmas (dinner at least) to me. I'm so blessed to have such a fun and supportive family! Everybody came (well JUST ABOUT everybody). Wanna know who? Okay, I'll tell ya. My mom and dad, my sister (from Arkansas), my Granny (the best-est cook in the world!), my 3 aunts (Merle, Mary Jean, and Faye), My only maternal Uncle (BoBo- hey... we're from the country so lay off the names aight! LOL). My cousins Savannah and Denzel (Aunt Merle's two), Marcus (Aunt Faye's son...Uncle David stayed home...), PJ (Uncle Bo's son, Trilana, the sister and Martha Ann the wife were no where to be found... kinda typical though..), Shericka (Aunt Mary Jean's daughter), and the best of all Linberg, Trelin, and Kayleigh-Ann (Uncle Bo's grand kids/Trilana's kids...ages 5,4 and 3 respectively). Good times folks and good food! YUUUMMM!

I gave the kids their 'early Christmas gifts'. Told them I had spoken to Santa when he stopped by here to take a break. He knew they would be here and left a package for them if they were good. I... I mean SANTA got the boys a BUMBLEBEE Transformer action figure, and the fashionista, 3 y/o Kayleigh-Ann got the newest in Kiddy fashion- Princess Tiana suit (with a hood...she's obsessed with hooded wear now). They loved it! I gave the girls (my sister, Shericka, and Savannah) Faith rings. Gave the aunts 'best aunt necklaces'. The other gifts will be given when I get home on the 26th.

My most favorite part of the whole day was when the food was ready. My mom fixed the kid's plates and put them at the counter. Before meals big family meals, the family elder blesses the food. It's my Granny now. When she started, Trelin said, "WAIT, GANNY (because he can't quite get that 'R' in GRANNY)..wait, I wanna do it today okay... Imma do it good too.' Granny told him, 'yes you may say grace Tre.' Tre says to all of us, 'you have to put your hands like this (he puts his hands together in the 'prayer position'), and you gotta put your head down like this(bows his head). Then he began to recite the Lord's Prayer. When he finished, he said 'see Ganny, I did it, and I did it all by myself, just like Paw Paw did'. It was cute that he volunteered to do it, and even cuter that he said 'I did it like Paw Paw did'. Paw Paw is my grandfather, his great grand father who died about 2 or 3 years ago, when Tre was about 1 or 2 years old. I don't know how Tre remembers Paw Paw praying before meals, I don't even care how he knows, I just feel like THAT was a sure sign that my Paw Paw was among us today!

My heart is filled and I'm so excited that I'm from the blood line of such a wonderful family!

Men- Make up your minds DAMN IT!

A few weeks ago, I read a blog by a friend. It was mainly about being confident in who you are and your body type. The 'theme' was based around a word used to describe certain body types; that word being the word 'THICK'. (You can check it out here ) I'm not sure if this is a word that's universially used or if it's just used in the 'urban' culture (shrugs shoulders). I'm sure we all know what is meant by 'thick', but if not, allow me to offer MY suggestion of the word. I'll also offer my opinion of where the description has gone wrong.

Thick: a woman with curves. A HEALTHY woman with curves. An inshape woman with curves. A woman who is naturally (by genetics) 'bigger' but fit and well put together. More times than a few, 'thick' referrs to women who are sizes bigger than an 8-10.

Now, mind you, that's MY opinion. Now where the word goes wrong is when it's used to ENTERTAIN the idea that 'FAT' and 'OBESE' people are 'thick'. It's a 'bandaid' word to not say the dreaded 'f' word... LOL NOT GONNA PASS! The description was started, in my opinion, to boost the morale of bigger women- not OBESE, UNHEALTHY women. At one point, the word 'skinny' meant 'beautiful', and it left many women such as myself on the outside. I'm a bigger woman... a PROUD size 14. A HEALTHY size 14. I will NEVER naturally be a size 2 or 4. I don't think even at a size 10 I'd be happy because I think I'd look like a glorified crack head- NOT a good look! ANYWAY- I digress...

So, Men what is is that you want? Make up your minds, DAMN IT.
I ask this because I often hear men say things like:

I don't want a fake woman (implants, fake colored contacts, injections and the works). I don't want a skinny woman. I want a woman with real hair (no weave). I want a confident woman. I want a natural woman. I don't want a woman who tries to be like the women on TV. blah blah blah!

Cool beans- right? Well I ask again, what do you want? I hear these 'complaints' all the time, but at any given time you (men) drool over those SAME women on TV! I know it's probably crazy, but what are we to do? 9 times out of 10, we (women) tend to copy what YOU drool over... because that's what you like. You claim you want a natural woman, (i.e. no weave, no fake nails, no overly done make up, no colored contacts), but here I am- none of that, but you fight to see Beyonce, Nicki Manaj, and all the other 'hot ladies' on TV. You claim you like 'natural women', but I never see that same excitement when India Aire, or Jill Scott do a show. Hmmm- so what is it that you really want- Make up your damn mind!

You want a confident woman right? Well when I'm confident in my size 14, you turn your head because I'm not a size 4. You want a confident woman who is fine in the skin she's in, but I have no make up on and look fine, but you run to blow up the ego of the make up whore next door. WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?! STOP CONFUSING US...ME! MAKE UP YOUR MIND. Either you want the regular, natural, round the way girl or you don't. Don't say one thing, allow us to immulate that, then not accept us. WHAT THE HELL?!?!

OMG Quit your crying... it's not my fault!

I've been hearing this for quite some time now, 'Dang, why can't you do this work for free/cheaper? It's too expensive for dental work'.

Well, to that I say, 'get over it!' I only say that because I think that like ANYTHING ELSE we want, we'll pay for it.

People take dental health for granted. They think 'they're just teeth... I brush, so I'm good'. Well the truth behind that is it's not 'just teeth'. And just brushing alone won't ensure good dental health. Those teeth have blood supply and nerve supply and if attacked, can and will cause pain and/or infection. Brushing can do a lot to keep worse situations at bay, but brushing alone will NOT keep a healthy mouth. That's why it's encouraged to brush, floss and use mouthwash AAANNDD visit a health care provider at least 2 times a year for check ups.

One part I don't get is this: (prepare for scenario)
Patient enters, let's say my office. He has 'okay' teeth. A few areas that will need fillings. Let's say I do his x-rays, and exam and charge him ummm $200.00 (we'll stick with nice round figures). His treatment plan (procedures that need to be done) equals up to about $1,000. This plan is NOT to be paid at once...it's a pay by procedure deal. (Example 10 services at 100 each- to be done at separate visits). Well, I tell patient: 'Sir/Ma'am, you need this, this, this and this done. I'd like to do blah blah right away, to decrease likelihood of more damage of the tooth, and it will cost blah dollars.' Patient USUALLY says, 'ummm naw, just pull it'. WHHYYYY pull a tooth for $75 dollars when it can be saved for $25.00 more? That baffles me! OR the patient response is, 'well doc, how long can I hold off?' )Depending on the situation, I can usually give a round-a-bout time frame.) So I say, 'Sir/Ma'am, I'd say if you keep the area clean, you can wait for PROBABLY ABOUT 2 months, give or take a week'. Patient says, 'okay, well I'm going to wait, because it's not hurting'. EXACTLY CRAZY- that's why you get it fixed NOW so that it doesn't HURT.
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Patient back in the office: 'Doc, aww man, my tooth is KILLING me, can I have that fiiling now.' I do the exam and what WAS a tooth that needed a filling back then, is not a tooth that needs a root canal. Now that $100.00 filling that could have been done a month ago is NOW a $500.00+ procedure. I tell the patient, 'well sir/ma'am, the decay is too far gone, can't be saved with a fillin now. It will require a RCT and a crown now.' Patient, 'but doc, you said 100.00, now it's 500.00!!' Me, 'well that was then, conditions have changed, that is why I encouraged you to get it done then to avoid this. THe other option is still to extract the tooth ($75.00)." Patient, 'well just pull it, I'll get a denture'. Me, 'denture is going to be about 2,000.' Patient, 'damn, why is this shit so expensive, you claim you trynna help me out, but you robbing me'. Me- to myself, 'IF YOU ONLY KNEW HOW MUCH I HAD TO PAY FOR THE MATERIALS TO PUT IN YOUR MOUTH, THEN YOU'D NOT COMPLAIN SO MUCH! I DO WANT TO HELP, BUT I HAVE TO EAT TOO, I HAVE BILLS TO PAY TOO SO I HAVE TO CHARGE YOU, SO I CAN PAY PEOPLE AND SO I CAN GET A MEAL AND HAVE A ROOF OVER MY HEAD ALSO'. Now this patient's treatment plan went from a TOTAL $1000.00 to 1500.00 in a matter of 2.5 months! And that's not including what may be going on with the other ignored teeth! AND the patient is mad at ME because he/she opted out of the initial treatments!

Okay, so, let's say I pull this tooth, and a month later another ignored tooth swells his face up and he comes in again. NOW I gotta charge him for an emergency visit, PLUS write for antibiotics, PLUS pain meds, PLUS the extraction fee. AND he's angry again! WHYYYY?!?! NOWWW let's compound the problem by the fact that anesthesia doesn't like to work in infected areas! So, the desired effect is a level 10, in infection, we're good to get about a 5. Sorry, nothing I can do about that! So, now you're infected with a tooth that would have cost $100.00 to fix 3 months ago, that wasn't hurting, but decayed, that COULD HAVE prevented all this suffering you're having to go through now. NOW instead of a little $100.00, some anesthesia, a lil drill SOUND and a filling and a happy mouth- you got this! A swollen face full of infection, injection that won't work well, 2 prescriptions probably stitches, and a painful procedure... ALLL for $75, PLUS the $100.00 emergency visit, PLUS pain meds... (let's say total $250.00). Now you're missing 2 teeth, out of over 400.00 bucks- all because you wanted to wait...

AND you wanna blame me?!?!
Dear Patient:
Do NOT come in the dental office angry at the dentist because YOU have opted to NOT care for your teeth. It is not my fault, as a dentist, that you decided to buy new jordans each month instead of put aside a few dollars to save for the dental exam. I'm sorry that blowing money on weed and booze took away from your dental fillings stash so now you gotta do what ever to try to get money for a RCT and you mad at me?

OMG- QUIT YOUR CRYING!!! IT's NOT MY FAULT!

My Crush and 3 questions you all need to answer for me!

Having a crush on someone is like putting your heart in a Ziploc bag and checking it at the airport luggage counter. There is a chance it will make the trip and come out unscathed, but there is a much greater chance that it will be bruised in some way.

So people... I have this crush. YES- Im' 30 damn years old with a crush. LOL Well, I'm not sure if it's considered a crush, because he knows, we know, we've been 'involved' to an extent, but nothing has majorly developed. (sigh) I'm not sure why really. At times during this 5 year 'crush' period, there have been periods when he's been involved with another woman/women and me with another man/men. During those times, my crush and I didn't interact a whole lot. He's my friend, so we would speak and what not, but none of the super heavy flirting we tend to do when we're single.

Recently, I became newly single again, and of course the 'crush' was instantly at the front of my mind. He never left my mind really, but I packed him a lil further back to focus on the on-again off-again relationship I was in. (A relationship that was on/off for 5 years). Crazy that I met the ex and the crush around the same time. I found out that the crush had a 'special someone' at the time, so I didn't trip... I just 'lived' and that living linked me to the recent ex. Anyway- So recently I broke up with the bf. The crush and I started our 'goofing off' again (via text and twitter mostly). He ended up in my city, and I saw him. More of the flirting and what not- as usual.

One weekend, my friends and I went to Atl for the Saints Falcons game. So did the crush and his friends. The plan was for me and the crush to hook up and hang out a minute. (We did live in the same city, I graduated, and moved away. He's in the city still and will move when he graduates in May- just not sure where he's going though). Anyway, one night of the weekend, my girls and I went out. We contacted the crush and his friends and pretty much went to where they were. I get there and the crush wasn't there. Me, being the 'cool chick' that I am ;-) didn't ask about him. I just tried to have a lil fun. (I was, however, quite disappointed because I wanted to see him ya know). I didn't ask because of the people in town with the ex, only 2 of the people knew of our 'flings'. The others didn't know (or at least I don't think they know). My friend and I were standing and just looking. One of the Crush's friends came by us and my girl asks, 'so where is *crush*?'. The friend, in a drunken slur says, 'Oh, mannn *crush* is all boo'd up, he's got a little friend here in ATL'. ME- (shocked face and disappointed face and angry face and jealous face)! Well, I TRIED my damnedest to keep it together, I think I did alright. When I over heard it, I sent crush a message asking, 'hmm, where are you? the gang's all here but you. You too drunk or too good to hang out tonight'? NO RESPONSE! I continued to chill and such. We finally leave for home. The next morning, I see on twitter a message from crush, 'got some good sleep, ready for the game now'. Then moments later I get a text response, 'yep- I was too drunk and too good LOL :-), are you going to the game?'. I respond, 'umm hmm, you were probably laid up with some jezzybell. yeah we're going to the game'. His response, 'yeah I prob was'. Me- WTF!?!?! Anyway, I don't THINK I reacted much, I tried to surpress my issues with this weekend! I go to the game, enoy it as usual. After the game we head home- Me to NOLA, my friends to Shreveport. I drove the WHOLE 8.5 hours with my mind racing about the happenings.

OMG- what to do what to do?!?!
#1- can I rightfully tell the crush I KNOW he was not telling the truth about 'sleeping all night'? That I KNOW he was out with some girl? I mean he is NOT my 'man'...

#2- My feelings were hurt by that. The crush IS my 'friend', can I say somethign about my feelings being hurt? I mean he IS my friend, my crush, and he is VERY aware of how I feel about him.

#3- How in the world am I supposed to go about getting this thing solidified between us or letting it completely go? I don't get it! I like hanging out with him when we are together... I miss him terribly since we've been apart. I wanna tell him all of this stuff, but he's so friggin quiet until I'm not sure if the quiet means 'so what' or if the quiet means, 'hmmm I feel the same'. WHAT TO DO WHAT TO DO?!?! sheesh!

From here on out...the rest is just a piece I found about 'crushes'. If you care to read on, have at it..if not..offer your advice/answers to the 3 questions please..
That will be all...

What is a crush
A crush involves admiring someone from a safe distance. You feel a hugely powerful emotion, stronger than anything you've felt before. You obsess over this person. You would die for them. You think about them constantly. You are thrilled when you are near them and miserable when you are away from them. You desperately want to tell the person how you feel - but are frightened of it at the same time.

If you're involved in a crush - enjoy it! We have ALL had crushes over the years and they're something you look back on with great fondness. Look at what makes your crush special. Those qualities that you admire in your crush are qualities that are very special to you, and it's very important to learn what those are. It helps you when you look for a real boyfriend or girlfriend to date, to know what you are drawn to.

Also, learn how to handle your feelings. Most of what a crush is about is learning that you get POWERFUL emotions in relationships - and that you need to deal with them. Just like you learned in earlier years how to deal with strong anger and strong sadness, you're now learning how to deal with strong feelings of attraction. You're learning that it's a nice feeling - but that it's a painful feeling if you let it take over your life. You need to be able to balance those feelings with the rest of what is going on in your world.

As hard as it might seem right now, your feelings for your crush will even out over time. It usually takes a few weeks to a few months, but you will learn to bring them under control. And as you learn more about life, you will find someone that is your own age, and actually someone you can *date* to start to become interested in. When that's the case, you can work to be their friend, and then their best friend. And it's at that point that your interests change from a crush to a real, meaningful relationship.

Tis the Season Right? Making my list

Today is December 18, 2009. Christmas is 7 days away. I don't get to go home for Christmas because I'm on call! YYIIPPEEE **insert sarcasm here please**. I have not purchased ONE gift! Lucky for me, I'm not married, I'm single, my sister is grown, no kids, and younger cousins are all old enough to know the real meaning of Christmas.

I'm not going to kid myself though. Although we were raised with the whole Santa thing, we were also taught the real reason for the season. I can't lie- it ROCKS to get cool stuff for Christmas. This year, I've dropped the ball! I have not gone shopping yet! I'm making my list tonight, spending all day tomorrow shopping. I have a general idea for my dad, mom, and sister. In my family, we pull names as secret Santas (my mom and her siblings pull, then my sister and I pull names with our 8 cousins). I'm the oldest, and I think everybody still expects a little some thing from me even though I didn't get their name! It's okay though, they're all my 'babies' and I don't care if the youngest is no 16! (Sniffle sniffle- they grow up so friggin fast don't they?!!?) One of my cousins has 3 little ones- who I will try not to spoil, but the 5 and 4 year old little boys will most def get a noisy boy toy and the little 3 year old girl will get a doll that's tough enough for her! The older cousins (at least the 4 I get a little for) will get a little cash. The 17 and 16 year old boys will get a $10.00 each. I know- not much, but HEY- I'm just the cousin, and it will get a snack after school or something. The 16 year old girl..well she's my special one. Her moma (my aunt) has been sick for a while and hasn't been able to work. Her dad isn't REALLY in the picture, so my sister and I try to make sure she doesn't 'need' anything. So- I'll probably give her a little cash and make sure she has a new pair of shoes for school and probably a little 'extra' something. (What teen doesn't appreciate a 'fun' gift to go along with the needed things ya know). My 21 year old cousin is also my special one too. He dad died when she was 12. Her mom/aunt had done an amazing job with her and her 16 year old brother (mentioned earlier). She is a jr in college, on the dean's list for all 3 years! (Yeeahhh go smart family!) Her mom is a kindergarten teacher, so she doesn't make a whole lot... so again, my sister and I try to make sure she doesn't need anything. I don't know what she really needs, so I think I'll give her $25.00 for what ever and then I will take her shopping after the holidays (better sales, and she is a bargin shopper).

My sister- hmm let's see... that girl needs NOTHING! LOL She's HINTED at a Wii, so who knows, I might get that for her and tell my parents to get her that yoga game that she 'HINTS' at!

My dad- I think I'll get him some fancy liquor for his 'man dome'! (He build a HUGE mini-house behind our house with his TV, flat screen, pool table, dart board, card table, and mini bar).

My mom- currently losing a TON of weight... I'll prob get her a UP TO DATE outfit... my poor mom dresses like an old woman! LOL she's only 51!

As for me- all I really want is for everybody to be happy and have fun. My fam has decided they are coming to New Orleans for Christmas because I can't go home until Dec 26th (when I am off call at 7am). I just don't know if that's a good idea because I only have a 2 br apt, while spacious, it's not big enough for the 10 people who will probably come!

I have to say, I haven't been in a huge 'CHRISTMAS-Y' spirit this year. I think it's because this year I've been awakened to so much. Often times we wait until 'holidays' to count our blessings, but this year- I've been reminded of my abundant blessings daily. At work I'm a dental resident at University Hospital, where we see many free care patients, and very sick patients. I see so many conditions and so many situations that make me feel 'CHRISTMAS-Y' daily. I think that's my gift...and it started back in July when I started working there. That's not to say I've never felt greatful for my blessings, it's just when you're around less fortunate people, it reminds you that what ever you have, could be gone at any moment. It reminds you to give thanks for the accomplishments you've acquired. It allows you to use your God given gifts to possibly uplift the spirits of others and offer kinds words and offer a smile to some people who haven't seen and/or heard things like that in years.

I will say- I've left work several times quite flustered and completely worn out. Despite that, I can always think back to the cancer patient I was able to extract his/her teeth in one appointment, so that he/she could start radiation therapy 2 days earlier than expected. I think about the denture patient who tried to committ suicide by shooting himself in the face. His story chills me to the bone, and I relish in the fact that he's much more appreciative of his life and I was able to give him the smile he's longed for. Every time I can see a patient smile after I remove a painful tooth, or fill a painful tooth, or deliver teeth (dentures), it's like a big ole fat present- daily! LOL

How can I be so lucky! I've worked for 10 years to get here...HHHAARRDD work I tell ya. And I can truly say I'm blessed enough to know that the results are very rewarding and I actually LOVE what I do!

Happy Holidays everybody...
and don't forget- it's good to give gifts and all, but there is a much bigger picture. And I encourage everybody to find that Christmas spirit daily though.. I know I have and I never want to let the feeling go!

Merry Christmas (or Happy what ever you celebrate!)

Oh Me Oh My!!!

I haven't done a 'clinic' blog in a while. I haven't had a whole lot to blog about because I've been back in my general dentistry zone- so 90% of the patients I'm seeing now are patient's who are assigned to me and I'm their primary dental care provider, they craziness is pretty much gone. HOWEVER- today and yesterday I had a bit of an 'adventure'!
Yesterday: I decided to help out my co-resident by taking her call shift until she got her car fixed. I was the only dentist in the clinic PLUS if any call came in, I was responsible for handeling that too. Everything was find until about 10am. I get a call from the ER. The ER doc says: 'hi Dr. I have a 26 year old here with significant swelling to her lower right cheek. Her teeth don't seem to look too bad though'. I say, 'okay, well send her on up, I'll get an x-ray and check it out'. About 20 minutes later the patient comes up with her sister, brother, and the brother's girlfriend. The radiograph was taken, visible infection present (which caused the swelling of course, and probably primary contributor to the pain.) I walk into the treatment room and INSTANTLY the sister tells the patient, 'uh ohh, here comes the pain'. (LOL) Now, typically this would be just laughed off, and the exam began, but this lady wasn't having it... SHE WAS ALEADY SCREAMING AND CRYING! I asked her to let me take a look, she did- reluctantly. THe tooth in question was on the LEFT side and NOT the right side as reported by the ER (LESSON: always do your own exam..never take anybody's word only!) . I explained everything to the patient- how with infection, the lidocaine won't work as well, but the goal was to get her out of pain and to take the tooth out with as little pain as possible. I give the first injection and she slides almost completely out the chair. I got her numb (her tissues were blanched, and she said her lip felt fat). I begin to extract the tooth... I put the forceps on and she grabs my hand (Lesson: a NO NO- never grab the dentist's hand during a procedure..can cause more problems than not, just RAISE a hand and typically the dentist will recogonize it as a sign of distress) I stopped, asked what was wrong. SHe said 'I don't want to do this no more, I'm leaving'. I explain it would be benificial to get the tooth out ESPECIALLY because it was now loose, and because this was her 2nd time in the ER for the same tooth in 2 months. She refuesd about 10 times, so I let her go. (Lesson: stop being a baby!)

Today: Interesting case. 26 y/o male needs 6 extractions. Problem- severe hemophelia A. Which means he had to be admitted last night for fibrin therapy then to us today for teh extractions. I hadn't seen the patient before today. I HEARD a patient asking the nurses 'man, is this gonna hurt, I can't take much pain, awww man, this finna be baddd'. The voice happened to be my patient. I get him in the treatment room, go over paper work, and explain the injections and what not. I give him 4 injections on the right and 3 on the left. After the first injection, you're numb enough to not feel the others... I start trying to move the tooth, adn he starts to tear up! I ask if he was okay- his answer 'yeah, go head'. I try to elevate the tooth, he jumps, moans, and wiggles. I stop adn ask 'are you okay sir'. His answer 'yes'. After doing this for 30 minutes I said, 'Sir, let me ask you this... why are you wiggling all around becasue of an extraction and you got allll these tattoos on you'? He said 'beacuse I be drunk when I get these'. (LOL) I was able to get out 1/2 of the last tooth on the lower right. I had to readmit him to the hospital until tomorrow. We will CERTAINLY sedate him tomorrow morning- if not, we'll NEVER get those root tips out.

WHEW- long day!

Friends...how many of us have them?!?!

Hiya all! Miss me? Well, I've been gone a minute, no particular reason- but I'm back now. Nothing major to blog about, so Imma talk about my trip to ATL real quick. Since I graduated from Meharry and moved to New Orleans, I've been a little outside of my element. I love the city, but haven't had anyone to really get out and enjoy things with. My best friend graduated from Meharry in 2008 and moved to Shereveport, a few hours away from here. We haven't gotten to hang out very much. In July for Essence and recently when we decided to go to ATL for the Falcons/Saints game. BOY! what a drive!!! Anyway, it was good to hang out again.



I was thinking recently about how we have friends/associates in and out of our lives for specific reasons. I have friends who I've known for 30 years. We're still very much so friends, but we don't talk very much, but I know they'll be there for me if I ever needed them and vice versa. They are my Original BFFs. I have several friends I met in college, one in particular who quickly became my college BFF. I'm the 'tee-tee V' to her 3 year old Chole and 10 month old Parker (they're so cute...LOL). When I went to Meharry, I met a few folks and was cool with a lot of them... but my friend India eventually became my Meharry BFF. Sure, I had other friends, but India was always more relatable. We were so similar, but where we differed, we respected each other's differences. So this blog is just a shout out to my BFF India...and a tribute to 'good friends' all over the world! It's great to have good friends huh?

Just thinking...What's in a name?

I was on the way to work this morning. I was listening to the Steve Harvey Morning show as usual. On Wednesday's they have the Essence Hot Topic. Today the issue was 'are minorities getting overlooked because of names'. (They also touched on a little affirmative action and brought up an issue of: 'since President Obama has been elected, is affirmative action still needed?- To be blogged about later). So- One example of a 'name that is often overlooked' was 'Jamal'. They had several more, but for some reason Jamal stood out to me, I guess because I had a childhood friend with that name, who was extremely intelligent. (Who knows where he is now and what he's doing... but oh well..) Anyway. I was thinking today... what really IS in a name?

They talked about how 'black sounding names' on applications and resumes were trashed before lookin at any qualifications. The 'white sounding names' that appeared on applications peaked interests more and applications were reviewed and interviews granted. (This isn't to say that these people were hired, BUT were a heck of a lot closer than the ones who's apps got tossed).

If there is an applicant with a white name- for blog's sake- let's say Bethany applied for a job as a teacher's assistant. Let's say- again for blog's sake- that the requirements are: high school diploma and 4 years experience in child care. Bethany dropped out of high school in 11th grade, and had 2 children of her own who are wards of the state because she was negligent. Let's also say an applicant with a black name- for blog's sake- let's say Shaquintilla applied for that same job. According to the radio discussion, Shericka's application would most likely be tossed even though she graduated top of her high school class, graduated in the top 10% of a community college, worked for the last 7 years in a daycare (from general employee to daycare director). Kinda sucks huh? And is very wrong. In this situation, Bethany was pretty much a waste of an interview, but based on 'name alone' she was considered. And based on 'name alone', Shericka was snubbed of an opportunity.

They also went on to talk about how some 'black sounding named' individuals (example-made up name): Quashon Christopher Davis has been encouraged to fill out applications using partial names, such as Q. Christopher Davis or just Christopher Davis... because 'Christopher' is neither 'black' or 'white'. Go figure! When in the world will people be judged on content of character and not on petty things such as a name.

As a black woman, growing up in a black community, we have- for some reason, made a sport of 'making up names' or trying to find names that are unique. Ehhh... I can't lie, some of the names are VERY interesting... LOL and some quite stupid! I agree, that some names may make you question the 'character', but it wasn't like little Shithead (pronouced Sha-theed) could come out the womb and say, 'Moma, don't make up a name for me please. Please name me Michael or Cory or Brandon or something 'job worthy'. Baby Aquanesha couldn't crawl up to her mom and say, 'mother dear, this name is going to hinder me from future jobs... '. A mother should know better you say? Well... how could she when her name is 'La'Trendalyn' (LOL) And her mother should have known better you think, right? Well... again..how could she when her name is 'Curdy Mae'. (the names previously mentioned in THIS paragraph are names of people I have actually met!!! sad...but true! LOL).

It's funny how my sister (Natalie) and I were often the butt of many jokes because we had 'white names'. I'd say my family has relatively 'equi-race' (yes, I made that up, but I know you get the meaning) names: Veronica, Trilana (a stretch), Cory, Natalie, Percy Jr, Prentiss III, Savannah, Marcus, Denzel (maybe not so 'white', but not a bad name), and Shericka (yeah- probably the most 'black' name of all of us). Now, the paternal side MIGHT be a lil different (LOL) Still I'd say FOR THE MOST PART, according to the radio show, most of my maternal cousins wouldn't be tossed as applicants.

What ever happened to 'regular' names with 'meaning'? Why have we, as a black community, decided to get SOOO creative with the name and neglect the more important issues sometimes. Some times we, forget to be creative with how to teach and train our children. NO- not a mother yet, BUT, I've had my share of the baby sitting and assisted in rasing a few little ones...
(Sigh) well..I guess that's all of my venting/typing release for now...

Later folks!

Back to work on tomorrow...and I gotta vent!

This week I was on vacation! YES- excellent. I was glad to have a break from horrible teeth for a minute. I was good that I had the vacay, but was a little pissed that all my co-residents end up with 2 extra days of vacation time. See, after our Oral Surgery rotation and our ER rotation, we get the 4th week as vacation time. Well, my Oral surgery vacation started Nov 23 (my b-day) and went through Thanksgiving break. That was okay, BUT- if you count up the days... everybody else got their FULL week vacation at some point PLUS Thurs and Fri for Thanksgiving, and mine were 'built in'. I PERSONALLY don't think it's fair, but hey- so is life right?!?!

Anyway, spent the Saturday (Nov 21) in Mississippi as I usually do for the JSU/ASU Capital City Classic/Soul Bowl with my child hood friends. I didn't have a particularly good time there. I'm not sure why. It may be because I was just truly bored because of the rain that put a damper on the weekend, OR it could have been my mind being pre occupied with the issue of my recent break up with my on again off again boyfriend of 5 years. Either way, I did try to enjoy my self.

On Monday (my 30th b-day) I traveled back to New Orleans. I spent the WHOLE day alone... chillin on my sofa in my favorite red plaid pj bottoms and tank top. Ehhh not exciting, but I spent my day the way my day wanted to be spent I guess. WWHHOO-HOOO celebration right? HA- yeah right!

Tuesday my cousin came from Houston, and we drove to Mississippi on Wednesday, to our parents' house. He hadn't been home in FOREVER so his mom (my aunt) and his little sister were very excited to see him.

Wednesday afternoon, my dad and I drove to Jonesboro Arkansas to my little sister's house to meet my mom, grandma, and 3 little cousins. The family (all aunts, and kids) came for Thanksgiving. It was like one huge slumber party! LOL all the kids (me and my 1st cousins and the 3 little ones) camped out in the living room on blankets and stuff. The adults got the beds and the rooms! LOL NoTHING like a 4 year old and a 5 year old who talks and walks in their sleep. I had to play supervisor allll night to make sure they didn't get to the door! One cousin slept by the back door to make sure. There was a pretty heavy chair in front of the front door and the garage door was unsecured because if one got out side, the garage was down. Fun times!

Well the Bayou Classic, traditionally the weekend after Thanksgiving, a game between Southern Jaguars and the GSU Tigers was SUPPOSED to be on and poppin. My friends from MS were invited. The plan was to continue my b-day celebration since the rain put a damper on the b-day events in Jackson. I mentioned it to them SEVERAL times... by 'several' I mean all day Friday, all day Saturday, and then on Sunday when I was packing to leave Jackson. I said on SEVERAL OCCASSIONS: 'hey guys, ya'll should all come down to New Orleans (3 hours away) this weekend'. Nobody said anything, nobody discussed anything. I get back to New Orleans on Saturday night, no phone call from any of them. Yes- I was a bit pissed! So- I spent the last of my NON-EVENTFUL b-day week/vacation week/Thanksgiving break alone on my sofa folding laundry! Way to bring in the 30's right?

Why did that piss me off that my friends didn't hang out with me? WELL, I'm glad you asked!
#1- I lived in Nashville for 6 years. The WHOLE while I was there, they NEVER came to visit. There were times when I needed my girls, ya know. No, I wasn't sick. No, I wasn't depressed, but there were times I missed them and COULDN'T get to MS to see them. When I did get to see them it was when I drove the 6 hours- by myself to go to Homecoming or Capital City Classic. That trip was funded by ME- alone. I understand one of them didn't get very many off days due to her job. I wasn't trippin about that. One was a teacher, with weekends off. The other one, who rarely hangs out anyway wasn't an issue with me...she's cool, she's a wife and mom, so she's excused. Another one is the cousin of the first one who is cool too, I've known her just as long. The cousin is a student, so has weekends off too. The ride to Nashville was about 6 hours. IF 3 of them came, they could SPLIT gas prices..of which I never could do on my trips to MS. They would already have a place to stay. I had a 2 br apt, 2 br sets, a large living room and huge sofa. I ALWAYS had food, so we didn't have to eat out. We coulda cooked. UNLIKE when I spend all my money (wait- mind you I was a student at the time, I had a little part time job PROBABLY 20 or fewer hours a week). I had to pay for gas for my truck to get there, I had to pay for food when I got there, I USUALLY was the driver when I got there (even after that 6 hour drive). I usually had to put in money for the 'liquor' of which I hardly drank when I got there. For 6 years I did this. ALLLLLL I was asking was that maybe- just maybe they visit ME for a change. The 'excuse' was usually - 'oh my car won't make it'. EVEN THOUGH all 3 had vehicles. True- one of them probably would't make it, but another had a BRAND NEW mustang. The other had some kind of Mazdza that was in great condition for a 6 hour drive. They eventually came for my graduation. I was REALLY excited. My friends (from about 5 years old) were finally coming to my adopted city of Nashville and we're gonna have a blast! Well- HA- joke was on me!!! They ONLY came for the ceremony! They came to eat afterwards at my dinner. I was expecting for them to start asking about the night's events, but nobody did. They just all kinda lookd a little nervous or unsure. I finally started announcing the eventes... the parties we'd hit up and so on. Only to hear, 'oh, ummmm we're not staying, we want to go shopping in Memphis. We're actually about to leave now, our bags are already in the car'. (SHOCKED FACE) WOW! Rain on my graduation parade! Oh well, my boyfriend was there, he and I, along with my classmates and my Nashville friends would certainly have a great time.

I always managed to get over them not visiting, but from time to time, the feelings of 'anger' and 'disappointment' creep back up. This latest event of them not visiting just kinda brought up all those past ill feelings. I don't wanna say anything to them because I'm sure nothing will change (you'll just have to know these girls, folks). Anyway, I find myself trynna figure out if it's me that's over reacting. Have we just grown apart since we've grown up? How and when was is it that it's been quietly decided that I would be the traveler? How have I been deemed the one with the most money to fund these trips? Should I be a lil pissed? I don't know??!!?

Twitter me this... Twitter me that!

So... I'm twittering now. No particulars reason. Wanna follow me? Well do so! I'm MissySippi on there!

MY SHORTEST BLOG YET!!!!

HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!

One great era ending... and I'm still confused about men! Birthday Curse?

Well, tomorrow is my 30th birthday. Goodbye to the 20's (sigh). I've been thinking alot about the past 10 years. Thinking about how much I've accomplished and learned; and of course, about my shortcomings and disappointments. I want to take this time to thank a few people who have helped me to get to this point in my life. I probably won't name names, but if I do, and your name isn't listed, don't be offended... (and well, if you do get offended, I suggest you get over it... LOL it's my blog and it's written just how I'd like it written...mmkay?!?)
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At the age of 21 -

I want to thank Mr. Liar for helping me conjur up strength that I never knew I had. Although it sucked that I devoted close to 8 years of my life to you and to us. I thank you for deciding to cheat, get her pregnant and eventually marry her. By you doing that, I realized there was more for me. Thanks for indirectly motivating me continue with my educational career and become who I am now. I don't doubt that you loved me for a time. I loved you too, I'm just thankful that somewhere along the line, after the hurt and pain, I was able to forgive you, move on and thrive. Thanks for helping me discover more of my determination and more of my strength.
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To my girls (JCJC mainly) Bridgett, Tamikia, Pam, Ann, Janu, Tangie (and the rest of ya'll...) no need to really go into much, ya'll know I love ya'll and I L-O-V-E the foolishness we created! LOL and thanks for helping me through the situation with Mr. Liar... Ya'll know who he is!
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During my JSU years

To all of the people I met there- thanks for the memories and the fun times! To the JSU Insatiables... fun times people- fun times. To you, Mr. You Know Who You Are. I've already thanked you for not telling me the truth before, and for again, forcing me to dig deep inside of me to strengthen myself more, so I won't go all into that again... :-) What I will do is say, on a more serious note is thanks for becoming one of my best friends. LOL crazy how I hated you and wanted to run you over with my car a few times and how I wanted to stab you with my rattail comb has turned into such a great friendship. Thanks man! ;-).

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My JSU girls: Erica Young Fraizer, Lynsi, Teri Lowe, Sherlynda (and the others), thanks for making my transition to JSU so easy and interesting folks! ERICA- hands down bestest roommate ever! Oh the memories!!! LOL

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My Dear Old Meharry Days

The good, the bad and the ugly. Thanks a lot to MEHARRY in general. Thanks for giving me the instruction I needed to become a sucessful dentist. Thanks again for REPEATEDLY forcing me to teach my self stress relief methods. Thanks Meharry for reminding me that there are beings and powers greater than the hands, minds, and people floating through the halls at MMC. That God took care of everything. That was the main thing that helped me rest at night. To all the folks I met there and don't talk to much any more... WHY?!?! To the folks I met there and still keep in touch with, well ya know it's pretty much friendships til the end. To Mr. I Didn't Know (you probably won't know this is in reference to you either...LOL slowest nerd I've EVER met in life I swear!)... Yeah, you....thanks for the distractions, they were very much needed! Thanks for also making me more confused about things than I was while sitting in biochemistry! To this DAY I still don't really know what's going on, but for what ever reason, the confusion adds to the silent mystery that happens to be you. (Shrugs shoulders), I guess it adds to the attraction too I reckon- YES I said RECKON because it IS a word. India, Danielle D, Beverly- I'd most def say my MMC BFF's... nuff said. Er'body else... oh well MMC pretty much has bond us... so you just gotta deal with me saying 'hi' from here til the time we leave this earth! If you don't like it... delete my number! ( :-) )

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As I enter the 'dirty 30's', I hope to continue to attaining each goal I set. I try not to complain, but I do have 'concerns'. I have done so much. I have accomplished so much. I am one day shy of being 30 years old. No children. Job I love. Food at any given time. Shelter. Clothes and shoes in abundance. I'm healthy (other than these knees of mine... darn ACL surgeries). I'm attractive (if I do say so myself...annnd i DO!). I'm fun. I'm funny. I'm easy to get along with. Yet- I'm single. Go Figure! Can't figure out, especially at this point, what the problem is. I can NOT for the life of me get a grasp on what I'm doing wrong, or what I'm not doing enough of, or too much of. Do I give up on them (men in my life... past and/or present) too easily? Do I hang on too long- always giving second chances- giving them a 'pass' to keep messing up, not progressing? Am I too hard on them- demanding bettering themselves in order to better us? Am I supposed to 'settle' for 'an okay' guy and HOPE he 'changes'? Am I supposed to 'dumb myself' down to get a guy? WHAT IN THE WORLD is wrong- with me? with them? Answers?!?! Ideas? I am pretty much at a loss...

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There have been a total of 4 men in my life who've I've felt intense feelings for. I mentioned 3 a little while ago. I met Mr. Liar in 1st grade! He was my bf off and on from about 6th grade-sophomore year of college. At some point I OBVIOUSLY got too comfortable, thinking we'd made it. Especially after we'd talked about marriage since sr. year of high school! HA- I guess our discussions about marriage laid the foundation for his marriage to the other girl! LOL. OF which I found out about the engagement on my 21st bday, while I was waiting on him to pick me up for my b-day dinner! Happy Birthday to me huh?!? (He did finally apologize for the lies and the hurt and pain he caused me... took about 7 or 8 years though...)

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Mr. You Know Who You Are- in retrospect, started proably as a 'rebound' as I met him about 2 months after the Mr. Liar situation. Turns out though that Mr. You Know Who You Are kept my attention for a year or longer...turned out to be a pretty decent fella. That is until, around my 22 or 23rd bday, I heard about HIS girlfriend. YEP ya heard it, at my b-day AGAIN-and another girlfriend behind my back. We had beef for a minute, but eventually made up. He apologized almost instantly. I accepted it, but still didnt' talk to him for a while. I mean what?!?!I'm human! I was hurt...again. Bounced back, and oddly, gained a pretty good friend outta all the pain.

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Mr. I Didn't Know came along a bit later. Saw this guy at school one day. Decided then that his name would be 'Boyfriend'. LOL (I referred to him as this to my friends until I actually learned his name...). Anyway, I was kinda seeing somebody at the time I met 'Boyfriend', so wasn't a whole lotta action between me and Mr. I Didn't Know until or unless we were both single. He because probably- to this day, my favorite flirt friend and dance buddy. My attraction to him confuses me. We hardly talk, but when we do, it's always interesting and fun. We rarely see each other, but when we do/did, it was always the most fun! He's comical, smart, driven, athletic, attractive, and very sweet, rather quiet (which is a little unnerving for me), and just all around 'good people'. So- what's the problem you ask? HELL- I dont' know either! LOL He's so quiet, he never actually SAYS 'how he's feeling'. He's so hard to read. I can't tell how interested, if interested at all. What to do what to do?!?! Ask him, hmmm? Sure thing. Problem is, responses that never realllly answer. (shrugs shoulders- go figure). The words aren't there much, but actions while together speaks volumns, but it stops there. What am I missing? Hmmm? Anybody?

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Mr. Off and On. My current 'ex' situation. Guy is cool people. Been 5 years off and on. Love the guy. On a scale of 1-10, he's an easy 7.5 most days. Ended up having to part ways very recently (wouldn't you know it....a week ago... again around my b-day. Do I have a relationship Birthday curse?!?!? Always glad to have another birthday, but dang it... can I make it through one WITH a relationship in tact... is that too much to ask for?). I guess I need him to grow up. I dont' know. But not sure I'm willing to wait for this to happen. Time out for games....

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If I could, I'd magically combine Mr. I Didn't Know and Mr. Off and On. Somehow incorporate Mr. Off and On's attention and CONSISTANT affection into Mr. I Didn't Know. Or Mr. I Didn't Know's drive and intellect into Mr. Off and On. Until that technology comes along... looks like Imma roll solo. I can't settle for 50% of what it is I NEED from a man when I can continue with the 100% I'm getting from me. (sigh).

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Happy Birthday Me!

Amazing... Simply Amazing...

Have you ever found your self a 'TINY' bit under the weather?

Ever found your self complaining because your nose is stuffy, and you just don't think you can go on?

Well- I know I have! I am like a big baby/drama queen when I get sick..even a little bit.

**that is, until recently**

I've been on OMFS rotation this month (oral and maxillofacial surgery). Eeehhh, it's not a WHOLE lot different than my job as a general practice dentist for the most part. OMFS tends to handle 'more complex' cases of extractions, and larger facial abscesses, they fix broken jaws, and piece busted faces back together (at least in this program). We see quite a few oral pathology patients....or patients who after seeing us learn they have oral pathology (cancers and such).

One story stands out the most to me right now. It goes as follows:

-22 year old patient comes to the clinic about a 3-4 weeks ago.

-Swollen right cheek. (no biggie- that's what most patients look like when they show up... bad tooth/abscess).

- Oral Surgeons go to examine the 'abscess', decided to try to extract the teeth by the 'abscess' and allow it to drain from there.

-teeth came out WWAYY too easy, and no supperation (pus). They got upper level Oral Surgeons involved.

-A portion of the 'mass' was taken, sent for biopsy.

-patient returns 2 wks ago for biopsy results..... CANCER. Very VERY aggressive. (turns out she was sent to the clinic by her ob-gyn. Ob-gyn thought she had a bad abscess also. After biopsy results, it was discovered, she was visiting the ob-gyn for a 'bump/knot' on her hip/pelvic area... which turns out to be cancerous also).

-patient was obviously upset, she calmed down, walked out the clinic quite brave looking. Her mother- seemingly detatched.

Yesterday:

-Patient back in clinic for follow up. Swelling 4-5 times as large. Patient in much more pain. Can't close her mouth, can't swallow, can't eat. Losing major weight. STILL in 'good spirits'.

-The chief eventually goes in to the treatment room, I was in there for a little while. The chief asked her, in a not so brave voice: 'So, Ms. X, you have a good supportive family?" Ms. X, says 'Yes sir...see my aunt right there, she been with me from the start of all of this...". Doc says, 'well do you have any children?' Ms. X says, 'sure do...3 bad ones too (LOL)". Doc swallows hard, and asks, 'well, do you have any family who could help take care of your kids..umm, in the event that well... umm..." This is when I walked out, to pick up another patient and was asked to close the door. (Closed door - that's usually signs of bad news to come)

-Moments later, patient's aunt outside my treatment room's door, VERY upset. Hear her ask, 'doc, how much time are we talking?' Heard the Doc say, 'Ma'am, I wish I could give you all a time frame. This thing is just so aggressive, and the very best I can tell you is: any day now.

After all of that commotion was over (the crying and stuff, the motions to have her admitted for some kind of surgery on today...), I went to talk to the Oral Surgeons about what was happening. I asked about the kind of cancer. All I got was 'it's bad... rare, and it's pretty much through out her body...nobody caught it until we saw her last month. Her Ob-gyn was 'watching' the bump on her hip/pelvis, but it hadn't changed in size, so was never biopsied." I then ask, 'so, what's her chances looking like- as far as surviving this thing?' The answer I got kinda chilled me, he said,'well, as the doctor in me, I tell you she's pretty much a goner, we just can't say when, but it's close.... so very close. It's crazy though, because she's so upbeat, and she's not 'sick', just 'hurting in her mouth' a little (according to the patient). As the Christian in me, I'm praying for the kid. I know that as a Doctor, I can only do so much, and I do that with Faith guided hands and mind. I'm not the one who makes the final call, it's God, and I'm asking God to give her some more time...we're trying to remove some of the mass on tomorrow, hoping that may at least keep her out of pain, but scientifically/medically, her prognosis is very poor, she is going to die, and soon.'

**bringing me back to my intro quesitons: Do you ever OVERLY complain about tiny aches and pains? This 22 year old mother (of 3), came in for what was ASSUMED to be an abscess/bad tooth, to get the news 3-4 weeks later that she needs to find somebody to adopt her children because she won't be around much longer... 'any time now'. **

That little sniffle in your nose doesn't seem so bad now huh? Amazing, Simply Amazing how our complaints pale in comparison to other's situations. Why do the complaining? Praise God (or give thanks to your Higher Power) for being able to just sniffle, and recover in a few days...

I won't complain...

SOOOO kiddos-

A quick short note about today.

Well, I just started my Oral Surgery Rotation (OMFS). As a part of this rotation, I do rounds on patients, learn to do minor facial reconstructions, different suture techniques and all that jazz. Today was my first round. I was up REALLY late last night working on a presentation for my program (which happens to be General Practice Residency or 'GPR'). I finally finished and fell asleep at about 3 am. I had to wake up at 6, to be at the hospital for rounds at 7:15. I woke up grumpy and a little pissy. I just wanted to sleep a few more minute. I was a GROUCH this morning!! (I'm just now transforming into a semi-morning person, but that's when I have to be up at 8). ANYWAY... I grumbled and griped ALLL the 3 miles to the hospital. I frowned and bitched to myself the full 1 minute walk from the parking lot to the S-ICU. I find the patient, go in, check vitals and make my notes. As I'm reading the notes, my whole attitude changed, and tears came to my eyes... (I had to suck it up though... no crying in this field... AT LEAST not in the patient's rooms and stuff). The patient was as follows:

*Motor vehichle accident on 11/5/09. Birthdate 11/13/79. This meant that she is 10 days older than me. This means she'll be celebrating her 30th birthday in the hospital... yes- the wreck and injuries are that bad...

* Several lacerations to the face. Two HUGE 'flaps' in her forehead, one in the shape of a 'J' and the other a backwards 'J', a split eyelid (eye ball was okay- or so they suspect for now)

*She was in bilateral traction Broken hips..yes, count 'em TWO and one was wwwaay worse than the other.

*AND NOW- the kicker: one nice warm, slightly swollen hand. One hard, cold, purple, stiff hand. Seems okay? Ummm NO- that hard, cold, purple, stiff, hand was very indicitave of a hand that had lost it's blood supply and that had set up rigor. As it was at about 7:45 am, the arm was pronounced 'dead' and was going to be the topic of discussion with the patient and parents later than morning- the discussion of amputation.

That's when I had my 'moment'. I sat there thinking... 'how dare me complain about being a little tired. How dare me gripe and bitch about having to go to work early. I dare me complain when I was still able to walk. I wasn't on a ventilator. I wasn't in a position to lose my arm. I didn't have huge scars across my face. I didn't have to worry about having to learn to walk again during my 30th birthday. WHY WAS I COMPLAINING?!?!? This patient- again 10 days older than me, her ONLY complaint was that her feet were cold and she wanted us to cover her feet! Despite her condition, she didn't have any complaints! She was just happy to be alive- pieced togehter, but happy. I was there- healthy and complaing! How dare me?!?!? (sigh). It made me go back to the little saying of:

It doesn't matter now bad you think your situation is. There is ALWAYS somebody out there in a worse situation, and would give anything to be in your 'bad' situation because your 'bad' situation would be a hell of an improvement for them.

It took that young lady's tragedy for me to see my blessing. We health and ambulation for granted far too often. I guess, sometimes it takes a slap in the face like today to remind us from time to time...

The Black Face again... geeze!

The Black-Face Debate... How do you feel?

So, today I was browsing the net and ran across the latest 'black-face' issues. A Dallas Cowboy cheerleader was 'suspended' for going to a Halloween party as rapper 'Lil Wayne (see pic and link below)

http://deadspin.com/5394350/the-situation-where-a-dallas-cowboys-cheerleader-appeared-in-blackface-for-halloween-will-probably-not-end-well

Now, IF you think the way I do, I'm wondering.... what happens to the other people in the picture dressed as Hispanics? Do they get in trouble for painting their faces brown? Is that now also 'racism'?

My Take On This:

Yes, I am aware of the 'history' of the whole black-face thing... at least some of it. If you need to read up on it, I've included a link: http://etext.virginia.edu/railton/huckfinn/minstrl.html . Is Black-face offensive to me as a black woman? Well, for me (again- I say FOR ME..as in MY PERSONAL OPINION...as in I'm NOT SPEAKING on behalf of ALL black people..as in I'm not saying another person's opinion is 'wrong'... ) For me, it's only offensive sometimes. When is that you may ask? Well, I think if a person dresses in black-face to negatively imitate, poke fun at, belittle, blatantly disrespct a black person, then yes- that's disrespectful. An example of what I'm referring to would be: If a non-black person dresses as a slave for Halloween, that would kinda piss me off. If he or she opts to exaggerate the facial features (making the lips HUGE and PINK), and using the dialect of the whole 'yes suh', 'naw suh', yess'um, and so on....then THAT to me is EXTREMELY offensive. Or, if someone (non-black) dressed as President Obama in "black face" and instead of wearing a suit, they wore 'thug gear' (thug gear by MY definition= baggy over sized clothes), with braids, and walked around greeting other party goers as 'massa' or what not... THAT to me would be offensive. If someone (non-black) dressed as Oprah in 'black face' with booty shorts, different colored weave, long finger nails, and gold teeth, THAT would be offensive to me.

Now- what 'black face' wouldn't be offensive to me? Example: THIS CHEERLEADER... dressed as a black rapper for HALLOWEEN. I mean, seeing, her I wouldn't have IMMEDIATELY guessed 'Lil Wayne, after she announced it, I can 'kinda' see it. After all, it WAS Halloween. I've seen NO photos of her being 'disrespectful' of 'Lil Wayne. (Mind you, I wasn't at the party, so I don't know what all went on...I am ONLY basing my opinion on the photos that I've seen via internet). She was white... she didn't didn't have dread locs, she wasn't a rapper, she didn't have 'grillz'... SOOO in order to get the 'look' of a black rapper with dreads and a grill, she kinda HAD to do a little 'make up' right? Another example (as stated in previous paragraph), if a non black person dressed as President Obama 'in black face', but had big ears, dressed in a suit, just 'hanging' out AT a costume party, giving people the 'fist bump'...I don't see the problem. He is a black man with big ears, who did the fist bump A LOT during his campaign. If someone (non-black) dressed as Oprah (in black face) for a Halloween party, with long black hair (weave or not), a nice dress and a microphone, and a wad of cash as props, and just chillin... I don't see a problem with that. After all she is a black talk show host (microphone) with a KAJILLIONZ of dollars! (Oh..in my Obama/Oprah expamples..when I say 'and just chillin- I'm meaning just hanging out, no stupidity, no 'stereotypical disrespectful phrases' and what not...)

I even read an article somewhere where Hary Conick, Jr was offended after seeing an Australian game show (similar to the Gong Show), where a group of non-blacks dressed in Black-Face as the Jacksons. Where is the 'immitation is the sincerest form of flattery'? I will admit I didn't read the whole article, so I'm not sure if they were being disrespectful as the Jacksons or if they just 'competed' as the Jacksons. IF they only competed as the Jacksons, then, again, WHERE is the problem? (then again, if they dressed as the Jacksons in black face with the painted on exaggerated pink lips and the 'naw suh', yess'm dialect..then that's different.)

Now...how do YOU feel about this? Am I crazy to not be overly sensitive about the black face thing? Am I a 'sell out' to my african american people for not being offended by a girl dressing up as a black rapper on a day desiginated for 'DRESS UP'?

Although I do ask your take on it, I don't think I'm crazy! LOL I mean I know racism is real. I was born and raised in South Mississippi- I've experienced some things first hand...so YES racism IS in deed real. BUT in my experiences- I've found/feel that a lot of the racial problems are because some of us (black people) LOOK for reasons to shout and cry racism. Some cries are most certainly legitimate. Other, are just noise in my opinion. There is NOTHING I hate more than to hear young black people say things like 'yeah, they gave the job to that white dude just cause he was white.' I can't TELL you the number of times I've heard this. THEN when I bring up the issue of 'well, when you went to the interview, did you present yourself in the best light possible? Did you go clean cut and well groomed? Did you wear well fitting clothes, nice shirt and tie? Did you speak as best you could?' I get the crazy look of 'oh, you just spoiled and you're a sell out... you got it easy because of who your parents are'. THAT, I do take offense to! Why? Because my parents are NOT celebs...not even on a local level. What they are are a teacher in the public school system, and a technician who saw fit for them to raise my sister and I up in a world where we'd be equipt enough to compete on all levels in all aspects of life with people of ANY race, sex, or socio-economic status- and fair very well! Now- unfortunately for some of my fellow black people, they don't know HOW to interview for jobs. They don't know HOW to dress properly for a job because far too many times their parents were never gainfully employed enough to know how to teach them to do better. My issue with this is- THERE ARE MEANS to get answers and help. That's why I don't typically have sympathy for those who mope around complaining about 'not having a job because the white man got it just because he was white'. Ewww that irks my nerves! My gosh 'my people'... ask questions... try to improve... do your best... stop expecting things to be handed to you! YES- our people were slaves at one point and time. YES- it's been tough on us as a people to get ahead... BUT YES- opportunities today that are presented to white America are also presented to Black America (well, not all, but wwwaaayyy more than not- again, that is just my opinion). Yes- America hasn't always been kind to us. No- America isn't going to pay YOU for back time because your great great great great great great grandpa was a slave. N0- not many people are going to feel sorry for you just because you are from the lineage of slaves and give you a job as CEO of a company... We gotta do better. We've GOT to get up and get out and promote ourselves as our BEST selves to get the BEST jobs for a BETTER life. (sigh) Okay, I think I'm done with my preaching now! I turned this one into something TOTALLY different that what I thought I was going to start it LOL... but anyway, it's said now...

Finally... back to original Black-Face topic- I found this link about another black face incident. http://gothamist.com/2009/11/01/blackface_costume_gets_student_sent.php I'm still out on my decision about how I feel about this one. Until I decide... you tell me how you feel... mkay?!?

What is a 'Hoe'

So,

I was browsing the blogs and ran across an interesting read (can't remember the blog now, but when I do I'll post his link..). Anyway, one of the blogs spawned comments that lead to an age old debate: 'a hoe or not'. There was question about if you are dating someone, do you share your 'number' or not. If you don't share your number does that make you 'slutty' or 'whore-ish' by default? If you DO share your number and it was a GIGANTIC number from your past, are you STILL that 'slut puppy' from then or are you the you now?

My take on this is:
If you are dating someone, don't ask about a stupid 'number of past partners'. I think it's perfectly okay to talk about safe sex practices. I mean I don't really wanna know that the dreamy guy I'm dating has slept with 100 women!!!! However, I'd certainly like to know that if he did sleep with that many, that he wrapped his 'member' up each time... that's more important to me than the number. I'm afraid the number would 'scare me off' or 'put up walls' to knowing a POTENTIALLY good guy now who USED to be a man-whore.

This is the hypothetical scenario I pose when in this kind of discussion:
You are let's say 40 years old, single and looking. You meet a 35 year old. You guys hit it off very well, date for months and months and months. You two decide to go 'further' with your relationship by introducing sex, so of course the 'sex' talk comes into the convo more often. Let's say, you two decide to discuss numbers. Let's say the woman who is 35, admits to sleeping with 30 men in her youner days. Are you now turned off? Do you wanna know more? If she continues to say "yeah, I had a pretty tough teenage and young adult life. I didn't know my self worth and self value. I was looking for someone to love me and I too often transposed 'sex' for the 'love' I was seeking. That was a sad time in my life when I was about 17-21, but I've been celibate now for about 7 straight years. I've grown so much. I know my worth and my value now... and well, I haven't had sex with anyone yet because I haven't found anyone I've deemed worthy enough of me.. until maybe now'. What now? Is she still a hoe? Is she 'redeemed'? What?

What is that 'magic' number that solidifies one as a 'whore'? I mean to some more than 3 could mean the biggest whore in the world! To some more than 20 wouldn't matter at all... so again I ask.. What is a Hoe? (or Whore for everybody who refuses to read and use 'slang' LOL)

You know you grew up in a black church if...

If you can you fill in the blanks!!

Don't cheat!!!

"First giving ______ to God, who is the _______ of my life, I'd like to say I'm glad to be in the ________ of the Lord one mo' time. Cause he brought me from a ___long_____. I coulda been dead, sleeping in my________, but God is_______ all the ________, and all the_____, God is _______. He's a _______ over troubled waters. He's a mother to the ________, and a_________to the ________ __, a doctor in a ________ room, and a___________ in the courtroom! (smile) He's the_______ of the valley, a bright and ________star He got up early one __________ mon'ing,with all __________ in his _______. Pray for me that I grow _________ in the Lord." Also, as you look in your church_______, under the special _________ please keep in your prayer _______ Sista Buela-Mae Jenkins who will be having her ________ surgery this week. And while you give your tithes and _______ we humbly ask that you contribute to the church_______ fund and we will be celebrating the pastor's fifteenth________ so anybody please who serves on the _______ board please meet in the ________ following_________. And the women's auxiliary will be selling ________ dinners for $7.00 a _____ along with the youth ______ who will be having their annual ______ sale to help fund their trip to the national youth ministry_______in Tennessee this summer. Parents please be _______that vacation_______school begins June 19, please have your child________ by May 13.

You knew them all, if not most of them, didn't you?!!! You must go to or grew up in a black church!

ANSWERS BELOW:

"First giving honor to G0d, who is the head of my life, I'd like to say I'm glad to be in the house of the Lord one mo' time. Cause he brought me from a mighty long way. I coulda been dead, sleeping in my grave, but God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good. He's a bridge over troubled waters. He's a mother to the motherless, and a father to the fatherless, a doctor in a ;sick room, and a lawyer in the courtroom. He's the lily of the valley, a bright and shining star He got up early one Sunday mon'ing,with all power in his hands. Pray for me that I grow stronger in the Lord." Also, as you look in your church bulletin, under the special announcements please keep in your prayer request Sista Buela-Mae Jenkins who will be having her hip surgery this week. And while you give your tithes and offerings we humbly ask that you contribute to the church building fund and we will be celebrating the pastor's fifteenth anniversary so anybody please who serves on the usher board please meet in the sanctuary following services. And the women's auxiliary will be selling chicken dinners for $7.00 a plate along with the youth choir who will be having their annual bake sale to help fund their trip to the national youth ministry convention in Tennessee this summer. Parents please be mindful that vacation Bible school begins June 19, please have your child registered by May 13.

You knew them all, if not most of them, didn't you?!!! You must go to a black church! IF YOU MISSED MORE THAN 3 YOU NEED TO BE IN CHUCH NEXT SUNDAY!!!

...Venting and venting... just No passion and no purpose! WHY?!?!

~ Passion and purpose go hand in hand. When you discover your purpose, you will normally find it’s something you’re tremendously passionate about. ~Steve Pavlina

**I like to think that the majority of us do what ever we do in life out of passion and or neccessity. Right? Some of us are actually blessed enough to have careers that suits a portion of our 'purpose' in life and fits right along wiht some of our passions. For example, for as long as I can remeber, I've always said I wanted to be a doctor. As a kid, I never really cared what kind of doctor, but I just knew I wanted to help people. I agree that there are several jobs and careers that help people, but being a 'doctor' seemed grande to me. I set my plan into motion and years later I am just that!
**My personality is over all can be described as all of these descriptions 'helpful person', 'friendly', and 'passionate about life and people'. I AM a people person. I LOVE helping people when and how I can.
**When I started dental school, it wasn't easy at all. Several times I thought about giving up. I didn't though, because my desire to want to be a doctor to live out one of my purposes in life of helping people wouldn't die. So now that I've graduated, I'm really having a blast doing what I love!
**Every patient I've treated, I've done my very best at it. I'm not afraid to say sometimes 'you know what, I'm not very sure about this procedure, so you can give me a few days to read up on it, or I can try to find you another dentist who can get it done ASAP." Or I'm never afraid to ask for help when I need it. I feel like if asking for help and seeking 'team work' is best for my patient and would benefit them then I'm all for it. I've treated a variety of patients. Healthy ones. Little ones. Fat ones. Some with great teeth. Some with HORRIBLE teeth. Some with NO TEETH. Rich ones. Poor ones. Intelligent ones. Not-so intelligent ones. Deaf ones. Mentally retarded (MR) ones- and the list goes on. EACH patient, I treated just the same. With compassion and with a desire to address his or her dental concerns TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY! I didn't do a better job on the rich patient than I did on the poor patient just because of finances. I didn't give the MR patients inferior care and the intelligent one superior care. That's just not me.
**Now I've pretty much said all of this because of something that happened today. Fridays are our Operating Room procedure days. Today was no different. My co-residents and I prepare for the case. We take radiographs. A quick (re)exam. Scrub in. Get to work. Today was a little different in that we did composite restoration along with extractions. (Typically it's just a cleaning and extractions). Our patient today was a young 21 year old. He had a motercycle accident a year ago, which left him paralyzed from the shoulder area down. He couldn't talk. He was fed through a PEG tube (which means he didn't use his mouth to eat...) Well, this young guy had some dental issues going on prior to the accident, that had gotten worse afterwards. Our job today was to repair what needed to be repaired, and remove what needed to be removed (of course after consulting with his family). So there were 3 of us today. One resident was a runner, 2 of us scrubbed in for the procedure. One of us did the restorations and one of us did the extractions (me). Well, in the midst of the procedure, some things were said that are not resting very easy with me. My co-resident started doing some work (some work that was of a lesser quality than what I feel he's capable of doing). I don't like to 'question' a person's methods of work, but I will 'hint' or 'ask questions' if I feel something can be improved. (Example: Instead of saying: You should use this instrument. I'd say "Hey, do you want to try using this one?")
**Anyway. On a particular procedure (that I questioned), his (the operator) response was 'why, I mean he's paralyzed, he can't use his mouth, why should I ". THAT pissed me off! BUT he does have a weird sense of humor, so I brushed it off as such for a second...until it happened again 3 mintues later. At another procedure, someone else in the OR 'suggested' a method (because it should be done...not wrong to NOT, but more benificial TO do it..). The (the operator) responded: 'I mean seriously, does it really matter if I do this like this or not? I mean, he can't eat. His teeth are just 'THERE'. I mean this guy doesn't and can't use his teeth so why should I be so concerned about this"? ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?! why should you be concerned?!?!? BECAUSE THAT IS YOUR JOB YOU MORON! Your job is to treat dental issues! YOU signed on for this! Your job is to RESTORE teeth to proper function and proper occlusion REGARDLESS of how the patient can or will use his/her teeth! I don't care if this young man can NEVER IN THE REST OF HIS LIFE put his teeth together again. I don't care if this young man is paralyzed. He is STILL a person. He is STILL a patient. I am still his dental care provider. I am to restore and repair! I just don't know if I can look at him (the operator) the same anymore...at least not right now. I mean those comments today made me feel like he has no passion for dental work. No passion for helping people with dental problems. Makes me wonder, is he really just in it for the money?!? Money is good, but I think I'd rather be at a job I enjoy, a job I'm passionate about and not make as much than make boatloads or money at a job I couldn't care less about. (sigh)

...so today I look like a gorilla!

Here we go again!

Today was a scheduled IV sedation case. Typically, these cases are reserved for patients requiring full mouth extractions, multiple tooth extractions, MR patients, or severly anxious patients.

Today's patient, who I will refer to as Ms. Bully, for privacy matters, HAD to be the most interesting case I've ever had the pleas..eerr umm... I've ever had to work with!

Ms. Bully had a reputation for being pretty brash, and inappropriate at times. She had been described as a 'know it all' and had been described as extremely demanding. She was INDEED a bully! No problem though, because I've dealth with those kinds before, and I was pretty good with calming patients down and getting them ready for their surgeries. Well Ms. Bully was the exception. The appointment went a little something like this.

Ms. Bully's appointment time: 8:00am... she shows up at 8:30am. She is to check in with the nurses and get her vitals recorded, then to my chair for me to do an H&P, then start her IV line. Well at 8:45am, the nurses told me they were finished with vitals and wondered if I had seated her. I hadn't in fact. So, Ms. Bully is missing- for almost 20 minutes. She finally makes it to my chair, and I begin the patient interview.

Me: Hey, how are you today? Well, before we get started on the procedure, I have to do a little interview, find out somethings first.

Ms. Bully: Wait... looka here, I need you to know that demerol does NOT work for me at all... so ya'll gonna have to do something more for me...sh*t!

Me: Well, we'll get to that in a few minutes . Okay, so I have a few papers for you to sign.

Ms. Bully: (OBVIOUSLY nervous- sweating, extremely talkative and fidgety). Umm hmm, I ain't crazy, these the papers in case ya'll kill me in here, I'll sign this and it'll say that ya'll are innocent and sh*t. You know my sister is a lawyer and I have a degree in psychology, went to undergrad at the age of 16.

Me: no ma'am. This form is just saying that you have agreed to undergo moderate sedation for this procedure. This one is just saying that you agree that we will take out these teeth. This one is saying that you realize you'll be a little groggy afterwards, and that you are aware that you shouldn't make any important decisions immediately after surgery. And finally, this one is the post-op instructions that I'm about to go over with you.

Ms. Bully: Awww hell! This that sh*t that say I can't smoke for blah blah blah time huh? Well does weed count? Is that smoking? Hey, I'm obviously gay right?

Me: You got it! You can't smoke for at least a week...INCLUDING weed and...

Ms. Bully: Hmphf. I know you heard me...you know I'm gay huh? well look, umm you single? when you getting married? Naw, seriously though I'm glad I just went outside and rolled me a fatty before I came back up here!

Me: Ummm, excuse me- what did you just say? Ma'am, did you really? I need to know if you've used ANYTHING in the last 24 hours. And I don't care if you're gay, just wanna get you comfy so we can get your teeth taken care of okay..haha, ummm okay, well, lay back and let's get started.

Ms. Bully: what happens if I can't NOT smoke for a week? What's gonna happen.

Me: Well, there's a really good chance that you could develop a dry socket. And it's painful! Can't really be treated by OTC, you'll have to come in to a dental office and have it treated...

Ms. Bully: can you just give me a lil bit?

Me: No ma'am. You need to not smoke and you won't have that to worry about now will you?!? NOW, please lay back, relax and I'm about to give you a lil happy juice!

Ms. Bully: see girl, I told you this sh*t ain't gone (yawn) work (yawn) for me. I need something stron...ZZZZzzzzZZZzzz

The procedure begins, goes PRETTY well other than the occasional/usual 'ouch', 'uh-uh', 'moan.moan.moan'. Meds were continuously monitored and administered as needed. After such a rough start, with her anxiety and endless questions, flirt attempts, and plain ole inapproptiateness, the top teeth had been taken out and sutures were beginning to be placed, when BAM- it happened...

Ms. Bully: Wait, what the f*uck you doing? you told me I was gonna be sleep during this procedure. Sh*t I'm scared, this ain't what I signed on for. Ya'll need to just stop, I can't handle this sh*t it hurts! I swear it hurts. My sister is lawyer and I have a degree in psychology. I went to college at the age of 16..blah blah blah.

Me: I know Ms. Bully, I know..none of the meds are really helping you at all, BUT by you being here, I have to give the meds to TRY to help out- okay? (all the while knowing that she was JUST snoring!!! classic sedation!)

Ms. Bully: get your ass over here and help me. this boy is hurting me and nobody's trying to help me!

Me: Ms. Bully, you're going to have to try your best to calm yourself down. You being so worked up is working against the sedation meds.

Ms. Bully: Sedation! Sedation? you call this a Sedation! I'm lucid. I'm lucid! I'm as lucid as I was when I defended my thesis! Sh*t I can feel everything ya'll f*cukin doin in my mouth!

Co-Resident (who did the procedure): ma'am, if you could just breathe for me, try to relax and calm down, the meds will work for you and help us all out.

Ms. Bully: F*ck YOU and F*ck this hospital! My sister is a lawyer! ZzzzzzzZZZZ

As we are all recovering from the almost 2 hour ordeal, our assisant calls me into the treatment room where Ms. Bully was supposed to be SITTING down and recovering. I walk in to see Ms. Bully rambling through our dental materials shelf! I saw her grab a few items, read the labels, and place them back. I saw her grab the 'dry socket paste', cut her eye towards our direction, pretend to look out the window and then sit down. I pretended to get gloves from the shelf to find that the dry socket paste was missing! (she had obviously planned to smoke and wanted to steal the paste to keep from coming back to the office when she gave her self dry socket!). One of the assistants was about to call the hospital police when my co-resident walks in...sticks out his hand and says in the CALMEST voice ecer: 'so, I hear you have our dry socket paste...if you do, Imma need that back'.

Ms. Bully: What? I got What? Are you serious? Ya'll sit up here and kill me hurtin my mouth and NOW you accusing me? awww man, but Imma need that though

Co-resident: no, you won't. dont' smoke!

Ms. Bully: that's F*cked up man... I came for ya'll to help my ass and ya'll stressin me more. That's why I hate all of yall!

Co-resident: here is your pain meds script.

Ms. Bully: ha..you think this lil sh*t gonna work for me? Hell naw, I need something stonger and I'm not leaving in pain and not gonna have pain tonight so SOMEBODY gonna get me something that will work!

Co-resident: well guess what? I am that SOMEBODY who you need to talk to. I AM that somebody who is making the call on what you need. You can take it or leave it, but this is it. Take it and manage pain, don't and be in pain!

Ms. Bully: aight, I'll take it...

REMEMBER- this was a moderate sedation case. These patients are typically WAYY too groggy to move on their own until about 30+ minutes afterwards, but this lady, who darn near BEAT all the sedation meds recovered from the meds and was completely ambulatory in about 10 minutes afterwards. She REFUSED a wheelchair and/or escort to downstairs! And BTW- the fact that she did combat the meds so effectly, and caused us to max out the dosages led ME to believe that she may have acutally smoked prior to the procedure. And her difficulty to remain sedated for longer periods of time led ME to believe that she has PROBABLY done a little more than just 'weed' and had done it more recently than she would ever admit - of course, because her sister is a lawyer and she has a degree in psychology LOL, anyway, she leaves all angry, but her bad teeth are out and she'll be much happier and healthier in a few weeks or so. Mind you... 5'5 258 and THAT afraid! College graduate and THAT ignorant and disrespectful! Please understand that I am not trying to down play dental phobias. I KNOW they exist and I KNOW they are real, but an anxious patient who is ALSO a 'know it all' and who is also so 'exacting' is a heck of a mix for a patient to try to manage. Over all though, I think we as a team did a good job to manage her. Lord knows if she had gotten any more aggressive though...whew it would have been smoke in the city!

That just goes to show no matter how big you are, you can still be a big baby. And no matter how many 'degrees' you have, it doesn't always qualify you as intelligent!

AND always remember... If you keep regular maintenance on your teeth (INCLUDING PROFESSIONAL INTERVENTIONS), the pain is slim to none... Ignore your teeth and they WILL go away- and almost certainly NOT pain free!