Friday, January 22, 2010

The Tooth, the Whole tooth, so help me DOC!

When I initially started this blog, it was to share my 'dental' stories. Unfortunately, I haven't had any 'FUN' stories until rather lately. This picture I found surely prompted me to write about this past week!
(I was away on rotation at a a student run clinic. Basically, my job is to help the students with extraction techniques, answer their questions, and screen new patients. My first 'new' patient's interview went a little some thing like this.)
ME:'Hello! How are you today! I'm Dr. T. Gonna try to pin point your problem area, go over you medical history, get some forms signed. You ready?
PATIENT (Mr.It Ain't As Bad): Okay Dr. You 'shole is' young to be a Dr, but I'm ready.
So, any heart, lung, liver, kidney problems? Are you Diabetic, Hypertensive?
Naw, Naw, Naw, I'm pretty healthy. They tell me, though I got something called suga (DIABETES!), and nothing else other than my emphysema. (LUNG PROBLEM!)
Okay sir, your med list suggests that you're diabetic or 'you have sugar as you call it', and that you have high blood pressure.
Oh- yeah I had forgot all about that.
Do you smoke? Drink? any illicit drugs?
Smoke? naw, I gave that up. Drink? yeah I get my drank on sometimes. Illicit drugs? Ooohh NO darlin, Ileft that stuff alone when I left Cali...shhooot yeah! I left Cali in 19-hunnid-n-semty5. (1975 for you Northeners!! LOL). Heroin, yes, was addicted that stuff, and I realized I was going down the wrong path, and I gived it up (YES- he said GIVED).
Excellent! Congrats. Now, is there anything else I need to know? It's important tha we know ALL medicines you're currently taking because when working on you teeth we have to give medicine that might work differently if you are on certain meds.
Oh... yeah, I mean, I quit that heroin like I said. but since I've been here, I do a lil crack cocaine... I figure it's only cocaine, at least it's not heroin. But doc, you know I gotta get off that stuff... it's bad for my health.
yes sir, it really is bad for your health! So it's a good idea to stop all of that ya, know?
Yeah, that's why I'm in here now trying to get my teeth fixed. That crack cocaine affectin me so much!
Yeah, it can affect all kinds of things. SO- what happened with your teeth here
Oh... yeah, that's waht I mean when I say it's affectin my health. I was on some cocaine... a good batch too, and I tried to steal some more from my dealer. That s*hit had my head messed up...then he punched me in the mouth and messed my teeth up, now I can't eat. See... that d*mn crack! Messed up my head, my teeth, and my eating ability!
Hmmm that's quite a story!

1 comment:

  1. I wondered what Bobby Brown was up to these days…lol