Thursday, January 7, 2010

HA! New Years Story! (what's yours?)


So here it is 1:20am and I'm wide awake. Not so bad right? WEELLL if you include the full day of work yesterday from 8am-5pm, a nap from 6pm-7pm, sleeplessness from bedtime to 5:30am, to WAKE up time at 6:30am to do an hour drive to work this morning until about 4pm, the hour drive back IN TRAFFIC... I'm home... tired, but not sleepy!

Anyway, that's neither here nor there. A friend and I were talking about 'Best and Worst New Year's Eve/New Year's Day'. I think I shall share my W-O-R-S-T one which ends up being the FUNNIEST one (we realized the humor when we sobered up)... here goes..

The fact that I can't even recall the 'new year' we rang in should alread y clue you in to how 'INTERESTING' this night was! (And how long ago it was, but so interesting, I can remember PARTS of it like yesterday)

(From the" The Hangover"... when I watched this movie, I thought about my NYE night! hehe)

I was in Pearl, MS with my childhood best friends: B and T. Since I had driven from Nashville that day, and T had a new car, we decided that I would NOT drive and we'd cruise the streets in T's new mustang. T was going to be the DD that night because she was going to have a minor surgery that next week and was absolutely sure she wasn't supposed to have any alcohol for a week prior to (shrugs shoulders...oh well... Drive on DD!). Well, B, T, myself and other friends met at B's house to start the night off. As we dressed and did make up, we took shot, after shot, after shot.....after shot... mixed drink... shot.. (you get the picture right?)

Eventually we were all dressed, tipsy and ready to hit the party. The ride there was flawless. (T is NOT a good driver! NOT THAT I WOULD EVER DRIVE DRUNK, BUT if there was a bet on who drives better, ME with one eye taped shut and dddrruunnkkk -vs- T, I'd encourage ALL to put money on me!) We got a close parking spot- perfect because of my 4 inch stilletos, AND because it was quite brisk that night. We got into the party for free (my homie from elememtary school was sponsoring the party). We get in, and instantly find the bar or course, then to the dance floor. Picture here, picture there, laugh, laugh, drink, drink, dance, picture and so on.

This party comes to an end so we pile up in the Mustang to hang out. THIS is when I started take a turn for the FUNNIEST... I do no know how long we drove around after the first 5 minutes. I do remember puttin my head against the back of the passenger seat head rest and BEGGING that who ever was in front of me to "PLEASE LET THE WINDOW DOWN BECAUSE I WAS GOING TO DIE"! (B was in front of me... just like she was on the way there, I just didn't know!) B's house was about 10 miles from the party, but I felt like we had driven for AT LEAST 4 DAYS! LOL ***PLEASE see the 'Sober Notes #1' at the bottom of this post!***

After what seemed to be forever, we FINALLY get to B's place. I remember B jumping out the car and going straight in the house. I remember just sittng there and T finally asked me, 'what are you doing? Get out!" I do remember managing to get out of the car. I literally THREW my shoes to what I THOUGHT was the door of the house. I was able to stand up............. for 0.5 seconds, and I fell. Seems like that fall took a goooood 10 minutes to complete. I remember being on the ground..... why I stayed there, I don't know. I remember seeing break lights **Sober Notes #2**, then I remember jumping up. You'd think I was heading towards the house at this point right? Well- NOPE- WRONG. I some how (and yes, I remember this also) bobbled backwards down the drive way, bounced off the mailbox **Sober Notes #3**, and laid on the hood of my truck! **Sober Notes#4** T was finally able to direct me to the 'light' (door of the house). I do remember CRAWLING in the dewy grass (in slow motion according to T). I DO remember shouting to her 'get my purse, get my purse, my sister gave this to me for Christmas. Don't drop my stuff, get my stuff up!" **Sober Notes #5** I made it in the house just in time to make a drunken mad dash to the bathroom where I flopped down on the toilet! I fell asleep sitting on the toilet with a garbage can in my lap and my face in/resting on the garbage can. I closed my eyes to make the room be still so I could bobble my way to the room.

AAAAHHH! Bed at last!
or maybe not.... :-(

( Fast Forward to the next morning)
The Sober Notes

**#1** I found out that the ride to B's house took so long because they took detours to other clubs just to ride around. I was accused of flipping everybody the 'BIRD' each time we stopped.... the window was already down per my request!

**#2.** I wake up the next morning with a HUGGGEEE impression across my forehead...yep, from sleeping for WHO KNOWS how long with my face pressed against the garbage can rim! As I was trying to detangle myself from the sheets, I felt a very bad sting/burn as the sheets were STUCK TO EACH OF MY ELBOWS!(sigh) I had to rip the sheet off my 'boo boo' from my fall! (Via phone, T eventually explained to me that when I fell, she thought I had gone in right behind B, but she noticed the house door was still open. She said she waited for about 5 minutes or so for one of us to come close it. Neither me nor B did, so T got out her car, walked around the back....and tripped over me! I WAS STILL THERE! (LOL) The break lights that I saw was T putting the car back in park or reverse!!

**#3** The mailbox. Poor Poor mailbox. Apparently when I was stumbling backwards down the drive way, I managed to hit the mailbox so hard until it was at about a 45 degree angle to the ground! To this day, it still has a bit of a 'lean' to it! LOL Apparently, once I bounced and rolled off the mailbox, I went to my truck and laid my upper body on the hood. After I had moved, it was described to me to appear as 'a body outline'! (LOL)

**4** Ahhh yes, the crawl into the house! I was explained to me that I was crawling 'army style' towards the house, all the while holding my new Coach bag over my head. Now is the point in my sobriety that I looked in the purse to find it full of leaves! (LOL I know!). Well, during my crawl, I was trying to pick up 'my stuff' that I THOUGHT I dropped... only, I hadn't dropped anything, it was just leaves.... LOL just leaves!!!!!

**#5** And for the grand finale! In the morning, I managed to squint juuussst right to make it to the bathroom. I step on the bathroom floor,! (HA- bet you thought I was gonna say puke huh?!) Recall the fact that I mentioned 'flopping' on the toilet and falling asleep while there... W-E-L-L turns out, I apparently flopped down so hard that I BROKE HER TOILET! LOL not a 'won't flush' kinda break. I'm talking CHUNK of toilet filling tank shattered on the floor... and bathroom floor flooded! (LOL)I had to conjur up a believable story to tell my parents because I needed THEM to pay for B's toilet! I was a full time student, and working sup-part-time, so I know I didn't have the cash for it. So, B and I decided to tell them that I slipped and fell onto the toilet while getting out of the tub. (Why is this story believable?- because I can be quite the clutz sometimes, so me falling- VERY believable. AND my parents have decided there is a 'right way' and a 'wrong way' to get in and out of a shower. According to them you enter and exit the shower on the end opposite the toilet. Yeah- you guessed it, I ALWAYS go in and out right by the toilet. Not to be defiant, just- it's how I've always done it. So, my story of slippin while getting out the shower was perfect!)

Well, that's pretty much the end of that!

LOL What was your most memorable NYE be it good or bad?

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