Sunday, February 21, 2010

can you be my baby daddy?!?!

I was watching one of the not-so-reality shows a few weeks ago- Let's Talk About Pep. On this particular episode of the ladies brought up an issue of being single, getting older, and wanting kids. She mentioned that her therapist (or somebody) told her that if she was ready for kids, and was single, she should find a guy she deemed 'worthy' of donating to her 'make me a kid' foundation, ask him if he would be willing to be the 'father' and go from there.

At first I was like 'WTF'!!! WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD SOMEBODY DO THAT! But then I had a tiny reality check! (LOL). Here I am, single as a penny in a broke man's pocket, not getting any younger- I'm now in the dirty 30 club, and pretty successful. I'm attractive (at least to me and to some), I'm fun to be around, easy to get along with and all that jazz... BUT STILL SINGLE. And I want kids! Sure- I want the 'boyfriend' who turns into the 'fiancee' who becomes the husband and father of my kids. Reality is- ummm I can't seem to find him, he can't find me, he doesn't exist or something! So, is that idea of finding somebody to father your children such a bad idea? I don't know if it's something I'd do right now, but it is a thought.

I posed this question to a guy I know. This guy being a guy I'd really ask if I was REEEALLLY at that point in life. He's what I consider 'top notch' kinda guy (shrugs). He's handsome, athletic (that always helps!), very smart, fun, and funny. I'd say he could help make a fairly good kid... LOL. Well when I asked him, this is how I posed the question:
"Let's say in a few years I wanted to have a baby. We both are single. I ask you to be the father...Would you consider it? [btw- I'm not really asking, just wondering]"
His response was:
"No. I wouldn't. That's not the order."
My reply:
"Hmmm good answer, BUT there are lots of things we (people) do that aren't in order...Y pick and choose? Hmmmm
He says:
"I pick and choose because I can, lol"

Interesting huh?!?!

Anyway, I don't know if guys understand...wait... I KNOW guys don't understand how we work...LOL They don't realize that we can only produce babies for so long...where they can pop a blue pill to get it up and make babies until they're lowered in the ground. WHY not help an aging woman out? LOL it's not like I'm BEGGING for you to stick around and help raise the child. IT WOULD BE GREAT of course, but certainly not required. (Of course, I don't think if I went this route, I'd pick somebody I didn't trust. Somebody I wouldn't feel proud to call my baby's father and so on. I'm sure if it got to this point, the guy I'd consider would probably insist on being in the child's life in some capacity.)

Is it a crazy idea? Is it far fetched to consider this option for older single ladies?

Anyway... just random thinkings...



  1. Men and women do think differently! However having been single now for the past 11 or so years, and having 3 boys, I wouldn't recommend being a single parent. Its hard work.

  2. i agree with ca88andra. it seems fine and dandy being a single parent in theory until you actually have to do it for 18 years. i would never be a sperm donor because i would want to be in my child's life full time and i don't see that happening unless i'm with their mother. *shrug*

  3. I don't think the majority of women set out to be single parents... BUT it does happen for what ever reason or another. I don't think I'd want to be one, but if in the event I am, I think I'd do just fine. Of course, I want the whole shebang... the cutesy bf, fiance, husband, nice house, the puppy, THEN the kids... BUT realistically... Imma have to edit some of that dream, I'm not as young as I used to be and unless somebody holding out on secrets, ain't no way I can stop time! lol

  4. nawwhh. trust God and wait for a dude. who wants a kid from a guy who you don't even have emotional attachment to? that'd just leave weird memories. plus, it is difficult for single parents. cuz you gotta work and take care of a kid, and that leaves the chance of them screwing up their life a lot bigger cuz you CAN'T be there for them. i honestly don't think it's best for the kid. kids are meant to have two parents. i mean i think it could be real hard for them not to, and that's not fair. my advice, warning it's coming from a christian haha, is trust God, seek Him with all your heart, and He'll bring you someone when the time is right! "delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart." and if it's not His will, He has somethin' better, even if that sounds redic! so wait on Him. cuz if you chase things before it's the right time, can leave you with a mess. stuff you wouldn't expect. and if you REALLY wanted a kid, adoption would be the better way to go. there are a lot of kids out there who don't even have ANY parents, so in that case, single mom would be sooo much better than no mom! :) just make sure it's all right with God and follow His plan! & be content in Him. that's huge. not saying im there yet, and i totally feel your urgency, but that's the best way. so there ya have it, my little (or long) piece of advice X)

  5. Thanks Christine...

    I don't even know how to verabally describe it. I don't think I'm 'rushing' it like I GOTTA HAVE IT NOW, but I like to have a little tentative plan for the future...and while I know my plan is nothing compared to what God has for me... I still try ya know.. and being 30, I find myself wondering if I'll even be able to have the 4 kids I wanted back when I was 20ish... You are right though... waiting and not worrying... knowing that what God has for me is for me adn He'll reveal it all in it's proper time...